Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil
by Els-chan
Summary: Rated for suicide themes and language. Is officially slash. Chapter 25 up. Hearing voices and making up.
1. Chapter 1

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

A Work of Fiction By: Els-chan

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter and all its characters belong to J.K.Rowling, and I'm not about to piss her off by trying to steal her stuff, even if I am an insane klepto.

A/N: OK, this just started out with me writing down random conversations that I have with myself as they pop into my head. (I know that makes me sound insane – and I am – but it's really not what you might think). Therefore, if at any point it seems kind of choppy, that would be why. It initially wasn't intended to have any body text in it. 

This fic does touch on suicidal themes, and may (read: probably will) eventually become slashy. Because of that, I might as well mention that Harry is in his seventh year, Voldemort is dead and gone, and so are several of Harry's friends and classmates. Anyway, enough of my foolish banter. It's going to become longer than the story itself at this rate.

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Harry Potter sat quietly in the Potions classroom, cutting up flobberworms. Apparently, Snape hadn't appreciated Harry's new cynical responses to his criticisms and had decided that a detention was in order – not that Harry cared, really. But then, it had been a long time since Harry had really cared about anything. The final battle with Voldemort was the most difficult, traumatizing event Harry had ever gone through. Lupin was dead, Colin was dead, Ginny was dead…so many countless deaths…and he was to blame. Rather than luring Voldemort away from Hogsmead, where they were all enjoying their weekend, he decided to "stand and fight like a man." What a fool he was…and now so many others suffered… Before he realized what he was doing, Harry had the knife he was using to slice up the flobberworms digging into his wrist, leaving a crimson trail as it passed over. He couldn't help but smile cynically as he watched the blood trail along his arm. It really was a rather Gryffindor shade of red in his opinion, and he became so focused on drawing more of that lovely crimson out of himself that he didn't notice the dark figure come up behind him. 

"What are you doing?" Harry jumped slightly as the soft tones of the Potions Master's voice cut into his little reverie. He scowled at the interruption.

"I don't know. What's it _look_ like I'm doing?" he responded, sarcasm dripping in his voice.

Snape snorted. "I will ignore that bit of sarcasm for the time being."

"Well, aren't I the lucky one?"

"As well as that bit of sarcasm," Snape continued without missing a beat. "Give me your knife."

"Why? Do you want to finish me off yourself?" Harry retorted, rather irritated at the interruption.

"Not quite," Snape replied, snatching the knife out of the boy's hand.

"Hey! Give that back!"

Snape snorted again. "Do I look stupid to you?"

Not even bothering to think of the consequences, mainly because he just didn't give a damn at that point, Harry replied, "Yes, you greasy bastard. Now give me back my knife!"

Snape's eyebrows shot up as an almost amused expression crossed his face. "Well, now you'll never get it back."

Harry's hands balled up into fists. "Fuck you, you slimy, greasy…" 

Snape cut him off. "That's quite enough."

"No, it's not!" Harry yelled, his frustration building by the moment. "You didn't let me finish what I started!"

"Yes, well…" Snape trailed off as he looked down at Harry's arm. The boy really had cut quite deep into his wrist, which surprised him. Who would have thought, the great Harry Potter, suicidal? "Perhaps you should get that cut cleaned out."

"If you'd just let me finish…" Harry replied, the slightest bit of pleading evident in his voice. The Potions Master smirked humorlessly.

"What, so you can completely sever all the veins in your wrist and slowly bleed to death? I think not."

"What do you care? Just give me back my fucking knife!" Harry reached out and tried to snatch the knife back, but Snape pulled it away quickly, still wearing that infuriating humorless smirk.

"Such language…No, I think I'll have to be contacting your dear…godfather…" Snape practically spat the word, "…about all of this."

"NO! You can't tell him!" Harry cried, panicked. If Sirius ever knew…

"I bloody well can, and probably will, if I'm not beaten to it." Snape always knew just the right buttons to press. Years of talking his Slytherins out of their own untimely demises had taught him a great deal in the art. Of course, he'd usually seen the signs in all of those cases. He never thought he'd have to talk down Potter, however.

Harry felt weak and defeated. This was no good. If Sirius found out… "It would kill him if he knew…please…"

Tempting as Black's death was to him, Snape felt that perhaps this wasn't the best time to bring up the fact that it wouldn't be much of a loss. "And how do you think he'd feel if I let you succeed? Aside from wanting to kill me even more, of course," he added with the slightest bit of humor in his voice. Harry said nothing, and instead stared at the floor. Snape raised an eyebrow. "Ah, didn't think about that, did you?"

"Shut up," Harry muttered quietly. Snape pretended not to hear him.

"Besides, it wouldn't look very good if students began offing themselves during my detentions." Harry looked up, and gave Snape an empty smile.

"I knew there had to be a reason."

"Hmm?" Snape looked at Harry questioningly.

"A reason why you'd stop me. I knew there had to be a reason like that," Harry clarified, smiling bitterly. 

"Oh? And what makes you say that?" Snape replied quietly. Harry didn't seem to have an answer for that, and so after a few moments of silence, Snape decided that it was up to him to voice Harry's obvious thoughts. "Just because I'm cruel doesn't mean I want you to die."

He was treated with a sardonic grin. "Of course. Then who would you have left to torture?"

Snape couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself. "I can assure you that there are plenty of others on my list, thank you. Nevertheless, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, you ugly git?" Harry shot back. He didn't have the patience left to deal with this anymore. He wanted desperately to end this so he could finish what he started.

"Aren't we the brave one today? Insulting me to my face for a change…I'm appalled," Snape replied with false horror.

"Whatever."

"And now feigning indifference. Fascinating," Snape said. Harry glared at him with eyes that promised death, but remained silent. "Oh, please, Potter. Do spare me your feeble attempts at death glares."

Growling in frustration, Harry reached for his knife again. Again, Snape pulled it away. Harry decided this was getting very old, very fast. "…Why can't you just let me…" 

"Because I don't feel like having someone die right in front of me," Snape replied before Harry could even complete his sentence. 

"It wouldn't be the first time." Harry replied coldly.

Snape twitched slightly at that. He reminded himself that the boy was just trying to get him to give up. Well, he'd heard worse. "All that aside, why don't you explain to me why you decided to shuffle off this mortal coil, hmm?"

"None of your business!" Harry snapped at him.

"It bloody well is. It became my business the moment you made your first cut during my detention!" Snape snapped back.

"Sod off." With that, Harry returned his glare to the floor. 

"Ah, I see. You'd rather explain this to your headmaster, of course," Snape said. Harry remained silent, and Snape smirked. "Well, I'll let him know, then, but I hope you can handle his disappointment with you." More silence. He had him. "Ah, I see. You didn't think about that either, did you? Did you think this through at all?"

"Of course I did!" Harry lied. He hadn't really planned any of it, but he'd be damned if he ever admitted that to Snape.

Snape looked at him with amusement. "Really? So you were planning on doing this during my detention all along, somehow knowing with your incredible psychic powers that I would have you slicing up flobberworms, then." Harry opened and shut his mouth. He didn't have a response for that. Snape noticed. "Oh, I see. You just _now_ decided. Well, I hardly see that as 'thinking things through'…"

"Shut up!"

"No, _you_ shut up and listen when your professor is speaking to you. Did you even once stop to consider anyone else's feelings? Or were you too selfish to think of anything but yourself?" Another pregnant silence. Harry hadn't thought about his friends at all. It never occurred to him that they would even be affected. Snape continued. "I suppose you also think you're the only one who feels the level of pain and pressure that you do, hmm?"

"Of course!" Harry cried. "Who else…oh…" Realization hit him when his professor rolled up his sleeve, exposing his dark mark. Snape sighed.

"Finally picked up on it, have you? Bravo, indeed. I didn't think you'd get it so quickly," Snape replied sarcastically. 

"But it's different!" Harry retorted. "You _chose_ all of this! I didn't _have_ a choice!"

Damn. He had a point there. Inwardly sighing, Snape decided that the only way to get through this would be to act…sympathetic to the Gryffindor. This would not be fun.

"Well, I suppose that is true. However, by your logic, I have far more reason than you to end it all." Snape smirked when Harry looked down at the floor. "I mean, the guilt…all those deaths by my hands…" Damn. Saying all this was starting to affect him. He didn't want to have to remember all that…The boy had better appreciate this. "In fact, I'll come clean with you. I have attempted suicide on several occasions. Do you know what stopped me?" He regretted the words as they left his mouth. 'Way to make yourself look weak in front of the boy, you stupid old sod.'

Harry, however, didn't seem to notice how uncomfortable this discussion was making his professor. "…What did stop you?"

'Well, nothing left to lose at this point, Severus. Might as well just let it all out…' Sighing, Snape continued. "Well, as I'm sure you've noticed, I really have nothing in the way of friends. Dumbledore is the only one who really puts any trust in me. Nevertheless, I decided that as long as I survived, I had the potential to change all of that and to improve upon my current situation." Snape noticed Harry looking at him oddly. He mused that it was probably because his student wasn't used to seeing him as a person, rather than the greasy old potions master. The thought made him smirk ever so slightly before continuing. "Unlike you, I had very little options. In fact, my current situation is the best of the very few choices that I had. You, however, are not so limited." The boy remained silent, much to Snape's chagrin. He was growing tired of being the only one talking. "You know, it pains me to see something so beau…something with so much potential go to waste." Well, that certainly was a close one. Where the hell did 'beautiful' come from? "Therefore, I implore you to rethink your current options." Here, Snape smiled ever so slightly. "You know, I hear England is looking for a new seeker for next season…you'll be out of here by then."

Harry just sort of stared at his professor. He'd never heard Snape be so…so…human before. He could almost be described as…nice. That was a frightening thought. Snape, nice? "…Professor?"

"Yes, Potter?" Thank Merlin, the boy finally decided to speak up.

"Um, while I'm still really confused about your motives…well…thank you."

"Yes, well…" Snape cleared his throat nervously. This had to be one of the most uncomfortable situations he had ever been placed in. "Back to your common room, but first you should probably have that cut looked at. And if I _ever_ find out that you tried something like this again…"

"Yes, sir."

"And 50 points from Gryffindor for the language you used before."

Harry knew that it was too good to be true. There was no such thing as a "nice Snape". "Yes, sir."

"Also, I will see you again down here for detention tomorrow night…if only to find out your motives. Good night, Potter."

"…Good night, professor," Harry said, before quietly leaving the dungeons. Maybe the old git wasn't so bad after all…Harry shook his head to clear it of such thoughts as he made his way back to his dormitory.

Meanwhile, back in the dungeons, Snape sighed in relief. Well, that was most uncomfortable. And quite a close call, at that. And what was that 'beautiful' thing about, anyway? Shaking his head, he sighed. Damn that Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Despite all my bargaining and bidding on E-bay, I still don't own Harry Potter or its characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling, and I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted, sadistic amusement.

Warnings: Eventual slashiness, suicidal themes.

A/N: Go read the first one. I'm too lazy to come up with new ones.

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Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor common room, his mood not the least bit improved despite his little "chat" with Snape. Oh, sure, it had made him think, but it certainly hadn't changed his mind. He wanted all of this to end, and damn it, nothing would stand in his way. Besides, no one really needed him anymore. If anything, he'd be doing everyone a favor by getting out of their lives forever. Less bad luck to worry about. 

Finding himself in front of the Fat Lady, he muttered the password and shuffled into the common room. Almost everyone was still up, and Harry had to wonder just how early it was.

"Hey, mate! You're back early!" Ron called to him from his chess game against Dean, just as his queen whacked one of Dean's knights. It was nice to see that Ron was feeling better. He'd lost it after Ginny died, and it had taken them a week just to coax him out of the dorm.

"Yeah, I guess," Harry replied indifferently.

Ron frowned. "What's wrong? You almost sound like you're disappointed that he let you go so early!"

"Don't be absurd," Harry replied.

"Well, I'd certainly hope that's not the case. I don't know how I would explain to Mum that we had to send you to St. Mungo's…" Ron grinned. Harry forced a smile in return.

"Say, Ron? I have a bit of a headache, so I think I'll go up to bed a bit early, okay?" Harry lied.

"Sure, mate. 'Mione did the same thing. I thought she'd got a brain cramp from all her studying, but maybe something's going around…" He shrugged.

"Thanks, Ron. G'night," Harry said, then hurried up the stairs and shut himself in the 7th year boys' dorm. Ron sighed before returning his attention to the game, just as one of Dean's castles took revenge on his queen. "Ah, bugger…"

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Severus Snape sat in his office, silently pondering Harry Potter's most recent detention. He could, of course, understand the boy's motive – he'd been there himself more times than he cared to admit. What he didn't understand was Potter's reaction to his interjection. He knew the boy would be desperate, but to act the way he did…it was as though the boy just didn't care at all. That worried him. It implied that Potter's attempt wasn't just a "cry for help" as so many other cases were. No, Potter's behavior led him to believe that the boy genuinely wanted to die. 'Well, we certainly can't have that, can we, Severus?' he thought to himself as he left the dungeons and hurried off for the Gryffindor common room.

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Harry smirked mirthlessly. He'd have to remember to thank Sirius for the pocketknife after he reached the afterlife. He briefly wondered how he'd do that before shrugging and returning to the task at hand. He'd already decided that slitting his wrist just wasn't enough, and hoped that the knife would be long enough to reach and pierce his heart. Slowly, he picked up the knife and aimed it at the center of his chest…

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"Where's Potter?" Snape demanded, bursting into Gryffindor tower and scaring not a few of its occupants. A terrified Ron simply pointed a shaking finger to the stairs, unable to speak in his complete state of shock. Snape's black eyes narrowed as he dashed up the stairs, taking them two at a time before forcing himself into the dormitory.

Silence followed for a brief moment before Dean turned to Ron. "Oi, Ron? Should we maybe go and make sure Snape doesn't off Harry?"

Ron looked at Dean and gulped. Where was McGonagall when you actually needed her?

"Yeah, I guess…" Neither made a move to get up.

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Harry was just about to plunge his knife into his chest when someone yelled, "Expelliarmus!" and the knife flew out of his hand. Cursing, he turned to see who the hell had interrupted him, and was more than a little surprised to see the Potions master standing less than three meters away, wand in hand. Surprise quickly turned to rage, however, as Harry jumped off his bed and approached Snape threateningly.

"Damn it, would you stop interfering?! You stupid old sod, can't you just leave me alone?!" Harry yelled, enraged. Snape just glared at him.

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Dean and Ron turned to look at each other. They were pretty sure they'd heard Harry yelling at Snape. That couldn't be a good thing. Taking a deep breath, Ron nodded to Dean and the two ascended the stairs.

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"You foolish, immature little…What in Merlin's name did you think you were doing?!" Snape finally exploded once Harry was standing right in front of him. "It's a damned good thing I'd decided to come retrieve you or else…Merlin! I don't even want to think about what…"

"Hey! Leave Harry alone!" Ron cried, bursting in with Dean close behind. He immediately regretted this as Snape turned his icy glare on them. It really was amazing how intimidating he could still be after seven years.

"Twenty points each from Gryffindor, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Thomas!" Snape snapped at them. "No go be of some use and fet your Head of House and the headmaster immediately!" Ron and Dean hesitated, unsure if it was okay to leave Harry alone with the livid professor. "GO!" Snape barked, and Dean and Ron fled the room. Snape slammed the door shut before turning back to Harry, who seemed completely unaffected by the man's state.

"You didn't have to yell at them, you know," Harry remarked cheekily.

"Silence, Potter! Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough earlier when I said that you were not to try this again. Well, I can assure you…"

"Actually, this time was different. I wasn't slitting my wrists this time. Not that it's any of your business anyway, _professor_."

"It is my business!" Snape stepped toward Harry and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, noting that despite being fully grown, the young man still stood a good ten centimeters or so shorter than him. Speaking in a softer tone of voice, he continued. "It is my business, Pot…Harry."

Harry was taken aback. Here was that mythical "nice Snape" again, and now he was even calling him by his first name. Harry raised an eyebrow. 

"Why is it your business, professor?" he asked quietly, emerald eyes boring into ebony ones, challenging them.

With a deep sigh, Severus replied, "Because I care, you little fool. I care."

Were it any other situation, Harry would probably have died of shock. As it was, however, he remained skeptical. "You're full of it."

Keeping his anger in check, Severus continued. "No, I am not. I mean what I say, Pot…Harry." He still wasn't used to using the young man's first name. "I really do care."

Harry was shocked to say the least. This was the last thing he expected to hear, especially coming from his greasy old potions professor, who really wasn't that old or greasy, now that he thought about it. 'Cripes! What am I thinking?!'

A period of silence passed between them as each man sized up the other. Neither really knew what to say anymore. So, it was almost a welcome relief when a very flustered McGonagall swept into the room followed by a slightly confused Dumbledore.


	3. Chapter 3

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.

Warnings: Same as the last time.

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Harry sat on the edge of his bed in silence as Snape explained all that had occurred to Dumbledore and McGonagall. He refused to look at either of them, but still felt their disappointed gazes on him. 'Damn Snape…Why does he always have to interfere?! Why can't he just let things be?!…And why did he say he cared…?' This last thought perplexed Harry to no end. He was certain the man hated him, especially considering the way he'd treated him over the past seven years. But now Snape had shown Harry a new, almost compassionate side that Harry had never seen, nor expected to see, before. 'What is he trying to do to me?'

"Harry? Are you listening?" McGonagall's voice shook Harry out of his thoughts and back to the matter at hand.

"Sorry, what was that?" Harry asked, shaking his head quickly to clear it of his thoughts. McGonagall frowned slightly.

"I was just saying, Harry, that had there been a Quidditch team this year, I'm sure you realize…"

"Minerva," Dumbledore interrupted her with a wave of his hand. It was clear to him that the woman was too flustered to think clearly. "Harry, what we really want to know is – why? Why did you want to leave us?"

Oh, no. Dumbledore really looked upset. This was _not_ what Harry needed, having guilt added to the now torrential emotions swirling inside him, and he broke down crying.

"Harry…" Snape half-whispered. "Harry, please get a hold of yourself. Just tell us what's wrong."

Oh, great. "Nice Snape" was back again to confuse him. Damn it, why couldn't he be the cold, harsh bastard Harry was used to?! He never got the urge to cling to "bastard Snape" and cry until he had no tears left. He never got the urge to throw himself into "bastard Snape's" arms and never let go. He never got the urge to reach up and… 'Stop that line of thought right now!' he chastised himself. 'Letting your hormones take over now is _not_ what you should be doing!'

Slowly, Harry managed to compose himself enough to be able to talk. "I'm…I'm sorry," he began. "It was stupid of me…but…but…it's all my fault!" He broke down again. He felt the bed shift as McGonagall sat beside him and put an arm around him, holding him close to her and stroking his hair much like a mother would. As much as Harry appreciated this little bit of comfort being offered him, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if it were Snape doing this. He banished that thought quickly.

As his sobs once again began to subside, Dumbledore spoke again. "If you don't feel up to talking right now, Harry, I understand. However, I am going to have to ask you to spend the night in the hospital wing. I'm sure Madam Pomfrey has a dreamless sleep potion that you could have." Harry sniffled and nodded silently.

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Harry sat propped up against the pillows on his bed in the hospital wing. He could hear Dumbledore explaining the situation to Pomfrey, as well as Pomfrey's surprised gasp at the news that Harry had tried to off himself. He listened as McGonagall suggested that someone keep watch over him, at least until everything had settled down, and was shocked when Snape volunteered to stay with him for the time being. A strange feeling of giddiness overcame him for a moment before he forced himself to calm down. Really, there was nothing to be giddy about, least of all being stuck under the watchful, intense eyes of the Potions master after having tried to kill yourself. Maybe he'd get lucky and Snape would kill him in his sleep…

"Harry?" Harry looked up at the sound of the headmaster's voice. The look of disappointment was gone now, but was replaced instead by one of intense worry. "Professor Snape will be staying here with you tonight. I'll be contacting your godfather tomorrow morning. Is there anything you need?" Harry shook his head. Damn, of course they'd be telling Sirius about this. He didn't even want to think about how Sirius would take the news.

"Harry?" Madam Pomfrey this time. "It'll be a little while before the sleeping potion is ready, so I'd like you to please take some of this calming draught for the time being." She handed him a goblet, which he took and downed the whole thing without a second thought. Pomfrey took the goblet back and hurried off, probably to finish preparing his sleeping draught, as Dumbledore ushered the still-flustered McGonagall out of the Infirmary, leaving Harry alone with Professor Snape, who hadn't spoken a word to him since they'd left the dormitories.

'Well, now's as good a time as any…' he thought to himself as the Potions master took a seat beside Harry's bed. "Professor?"

"Yes, Potter?" Ah, back on a last name basis. Great. Merlin, he sounded tired…

"Um, well…I was just wondering…um…" Long pause.

"…Yes?"

"Why did you lie before?" Harry demanded. "Saying that you cared and all that. Why did you lie to me?"

Severus sighed. "I told you before, Potter. I wasn't lying."

Harry's mind began to spin. Then why…? "Why are you always so mean to me, then?" he demanded. "Why are you always so cold and harsh?"

Severus sighed deeply. "Well, that's a rather complicated question."

Silence fell over them as Harry waited for Snape to continue. He was disappointed, however, when the next voice he heard was Madam Pomfrey's as she handed him the sleeping draught. With one last thoughtful glance at his professor, he drank the potion and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

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Harry opened his eyes groggily and blinked a few times to bring the world back into focus. He was in the hospital wing. Okay. Why was he in the hospital wing? Oh, right. He'd gotten caught trying to kill himself. "Damn it," he grumbled. "I'm such an idiot…"

"So you've finally noticed that too, have you?" a voice said from beside his bed. Turning his head, Harry saw that the voice belonged to Snape. Oh, that's right. He was supposed to watch Harry, wasn't he? Did that mean he'd been there all night long? "If you're ready to get up, we have a meeting with the headmaster to discuss the events of last night."

Harry groaned. This would not be fun. "Do I have to go? I don't think I can face him or Professor McGonagall right now."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why is that?"

Harry sighed deeply before turning onto his stomach and burying his face into the pillow. "They're going to be so upset and disappointed in me. I don't want to deal with that."

"I'm upset and disappointed in you, yet you're managing just fine with me," Snape pointed out in a soft voice. Harry snorted.

"Yeah, but you're always like that. I'm not used to having Professor Dumbledore upset with me. And I don't even want to think about what Sirius will do when he finds out…" Harry trailed off sadly. Sirius would never forgive him for this.

"Now do you see why I told you not to try that again?" Snape asked quietly. Harry nodded slowly.

"I guess…but what else was I supposed to do? I can't go on living like this…"

"Like what?" Harry didn't answer. Instead, he rolled over and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"I'm hungry," he finally said after a pause. Snape rolled his eyes.

"Of course you are. Come, I will take you to breakfast and then we'll speak with Dumbledore." Harry grimaced, but nodded slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Damn.

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It wasn't every day that a student sat at the staff table during breakfast. It was even less common for said student to be brought to the staff table by the greasiest, nastiest, most disliked professor in the school. Therefore, one could imagine the shock on many faces as Snape led Harry into the Great Hall and up to the staff table for breakfast that morning. This was the stuff rumors were made of, and the fact that Harry hadn't returned to his dormitory the previous night after being escorted out by Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore, didn't help things at all. 

"I heard they're making him the new DADA teacher, now that Professor Lupin…" Hannah Abbot from Hufflepuff had come over and was whispering to Lavender Brown. Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Ron.

"Can you believe all this? So far I've heard that he's been made a professor, that he's graduating early, that he's diseased, that he's being sent to Azkaban for murder, because THAT'S likely, and the Slytherins are saying that he's tried to kill himself! This is absolutely absurd!" she fumed.

"Yeah…" Ron said half-heartedly, exchanging a look with Dean. They'd discussed this very topic the night before with Seamus and Neville, and had come to the same conclusion as the Slytherins, especially after having heard what Snape and Harry had been screaming at each other. Ron, however, not wanting to worry his girlfriend any more than necessary, hadn't told her.

"I mean, honestly! He probably just walked out of Snape's detention because Snape wouldn't leave him alone or something!" Hermione continued.

"Then why's he at the staff table this morning? And why didn't he come back to the dorms last night?" Parvati Patil, who'd been sitting across from Hermione, countered.

Hermione, not having an answer to that, simply scowled and started eating in silence. Ron looked at her and sighed. He'd talk to her later, in private.

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Harry sat quietly in his seat, staring blankly at the plate of food before him. As hungry as he had been, his appetite had vanished as soon as he'd entered the Great Hall. He'd seen the stares and heard the whispering as he passed, and even now eyes were still on glancing at him frequently. This sucked. And worst of all, he didn't even have Ron or Hermione there to talk to him.

Suddenly, Harry felt a sharp jab to his side. Looking up, he saw that Snape was glaring at him. 

"Eat," was all the man said before returning his attention to his own breakfast.

Sighing, Harry picked up his fork and stabbed at his scrambled eggs.

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Immediately after breakfast, Snape led Harry up to Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore and McGonagall were already waiting for them. Looking around the room, Harry sighed inwardly, relieved to see that Sirius wasn't there.

"Harry, please take a seat," Dumbledore said, gesturing to a soft chair by the fireplace. Harry obediently took his seat. Dumbledore took the seat across from Harry, with McGonagall sitting next to him. Snape opted to stand behind Harry's chair. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Harry, it seems your godfather has gone deep undercover in an attempt to track down the remaining Death Eaters. For this reason, we felt that perhaps owling him right now may be counter-productive. However, you should know that once he returns, we will tell him aout everything that happened last night." Harry nodded sullenly. "Now, Harry, more importantly, would you mind please explaining why you attempted suicide last night?"

Harry swallowed hard. The reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks when Dumbledore had referred to what he had tried last night as "suicide". It was strange thinking of it in terms like that. Suicide was supposed to be painful and unnatural, not at all what Harry had in mind. He had just been looking for a relief from all the pain. He just wanted peace.

"Sir, what I did last night…it wasn't…it wasn't 'suicide'…" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "…at least…that's not what I thought of it as…"

"Then what would you call it, Potter?" Snape said from behind him. Harry sighed.

"I just wanted…peace. Relief from all the pain…and guilt. And, well, I wanted to…protect everyone…" Harry started to break down. "When…whenever I…I let anyone near me, I put them in danger. It's not…it'd be better if…" He choked on his sobs and couldn't finish. The three teachers exchanged glances before McGonagall spoke.

"Harry, if you felt this way, then why didn't you come talk to Dumbledore or myself sooner? Why choose this route?"

Harry forced himself to calm down enough to speak. "Because…I hadn't really thought about it. I just…I needed out, and it was the only thing I could think of…" He began crying too hard to speak again. The teachers once more exchanged worried glances. Dumbledore furrowed his brow, deep in thought. He certainly didn't want to lose one of his best students, but he also couldn't allow things to remain the way they were. He silently cursed himself for not noticing Harry's condition sooner. Suddenly, a thought struck him.

"Harry?" Harry sniffled. "You realize that things can no longer stay the way they are, don't you?" Harry nodded. Lovely, they were going to expel him…or send him to St. Mungo's…or… "Perhaps it would be for the best to gie you a guardian, of sorts, at least while you're still here." Harry blinked. They weren't going to make him leave? "Therefore, I wonder if our good Professor Snape wouldn't mind taking you in, at least for now?" Harry's heart skipped a couple of beats. What?

McGonagall turned to Dumbledore, obviously trying to supress her horror at the thought. "Albus, do you really think it's a good idea to…separate Harry from his House like that?" She was obviously struggling to find a way to object without saying that it was Snape she disapproved of.

Snape didn't seem overly thrilled with the idea, either. "Sir, I'm sure that…" Dumbledore waved his hand and the two halted their protests. "Now, now…Harry can't be left alone anymore, but he needs somewhere to stay. Obviously, staying with his Housemates isn't doing him any good." Harry cringed. "However, he can't very well stay with a female staff member, nor can he remain in the infirmary until he graduates. Therefore, he needs someone strong, who can keep up with his youthful pace, to look out for him. Severus, as I'm sure you both agree, is the most qualified."

"But sir, surely there will be accusations of favoritism…" Severus began.

"Now, I seriously doubt that, Severus," Dumbledore said, amusement in his voice as he winked at Harry. Snape twitched.

"But what about Hagrid? Surely, he…" McGonagall began, but was cut off as Dumbledore waved his hand once more.

"While I'm sure Hagrid would be more than willing to watch over Harry, I'm afraid that he simply doesn't have the space to accommodate another person." Dumbledore turned his attention to Harry. "Well, Harry? Does this sound satisfactory to you?"

Harry blushed. He hated being put on the spot like this, especially since it was clear that Snape didn't want him around. Therefore, he decided to settle on a simple, non-committal answer. "Whatever you feel is best, Professor," he replied. Snape snorted.

"Very well, Harry. In that case, I will have Dobby fetch your things from your dormitory and have them brought down to Professor Snape's rooms in the dungeons. I'm sure the professor will be more than happy to escort you down there now," Dumbledore said. Harry rose and followed Snape to the door, but stopped as Dumbledore spoke once more. "Harry, I hope you understand that we are not doing this to punish you. We only want to make absolutely certain that you are safe." Harry nodded, then followed Snape out of the headmaster's office. How was he supposed to explain _this_ to Ron and Hermione?

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	5. Chapter 5

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: God, I never thought this would come this far…it was originally meant to be a one-shot…I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!!! Anyway, this chapter will probably be a bit shorter than the others, and there won't be as much action really. Forgive me! But I promise next chapter will be longer and better.

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The walk to the dungeons, while normally long, seemed to take longer than usual. The air of tension surrounding both Harry and Severus didn't seem to help things, either. It was making both of them very uncomfortable. Finally, Harry decided to break the silence.

"Professor?" A grunt. Well, at least Snape heard him. "Um, I'm sorry." Silence, then Snape sighed.

"If you're apologizing because you think you're being a burden, then don't apologize," Snape muttered. Harry was taken aback.

"B…but sir…"

"Look, Potter," Snape said, stopping short and whirling around to face his new roommate. He paused briefly as his eyes caught Harry's before mentally shaking it off. "You're not a burden. That's not why I objected to you staying with me."

Harry blinked. What?! "Then why…?"

Snape turned back around and began walking again. "This isn't 'Question and Answer', Potter. We can discuss this later." Harry nodded silently and followed his professor the rest of the way to the dungeons in silence.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Gryffindor seventh years had all gathered in the boys' dormitory. It was Saturday, and their weekend homework could wait. Right now, Harry was more important.

"So you're saying that you think you know what's wrong with him?" Parvati asked, staring intently at Dean. Ron sighed.

"Look, before we say _anything_, I want you all…Lavender and Parvati, this means you, too…to understand that _none_ of this leaves this room. Okay?" Ron said. Parvati and Lavender looked insulted. Ron quickly continued. "Look, it's just that it wouldn't be fair to Harry for the whole bloody school to know about his problems. He's had to deal with that for seven years now, and for less than this. He deserves some privacy, y'know?" Ron sighed again. "Besides, this is just speculation. I haven't had a chance to talk to Harry yet, myself. We could be wrong." Parvati and Lavender seemed placcated by this, and nodded. Hermione just sat on Harry's bed, arms wrapped around herself, completely silent. Ron had already told her everything shortly after breakfast. She wasn't thrilled with the idea of telling Parvati and Lavender, but Dean insisted, since they were supposedly Harry's friends, too. She had, however, agreed that perhaps a discussion was in order, especially since it was now almost lunchtime and Harry still hadn't returned to Gryffindor tower. It wasn't until they got into the dorm that they realized that all of Harry's things were gone as well.

"So, what is it then?" Lavender pressed. "What do you think is going on?"

Dean took a deep breath, then glanced at Ron before continuing. "Well, we…Ron and I…overheard Snape and Harry's screaming match last night and…well…" He swallowed hard. "We think Harry might have tried to kill himself." The two gossips stared wide-eyed at Dean in shock. Hermione wrapped her arms tighter around herself, and Neville moved beside her to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Seamus exchanged glances with Dean, and Ron fidgeted uncomfortably. No one knew what to say.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry had been pretty surprised to see Snape's rooms. Granted, the workroom (which he strongly suspected was at one point intended to be a sitting room) looked much as he expected, but the "living area", as Snape had called it, was done up in shades of tan and forest. One could almost say it looked…inviting. Snape had transfigured a couch into a bed for Harry that looked much like the one he'd had back in Gryffindor tower, and yet there was still ample space left in the room, despite also housing Snape's bed, two rather comfortable-looking chairs, and a small coffee table. He blinked inquisitively up at Snape as the man led him through the room.

Severus glanced at Harry after his "tour" was complete. The young man kept giving him odd looks and blinking at him disbelievingly. "What?" he stated plainly. 

Harry blushed. "Nothing."

"You keep blinking at me and staring at me. Don't give me that 'nothing' garbage. What's the problem?" 

Harry looked at his feet, slightly embarrassed. He couldn't think of any other, more tactful way of putting it, so he decided just to say it outright. "Honestly, sir, I didn't think that your rooms would look like this."

Now it was Severus's turn to blink. He smirked. "What were you expecting? Shackles on the walls? A torture chamber?" The look on Harry's face indicated that yes, that was _exactly_ what he had been expecting. Severus snorted. "Of course, we can change the décor if you'd like…"

Harry's eyes went wide and he looked up. "No, no, that's perfectly alright, sir…"

"I was kidding, Potter."

Harry blushed again. "Right. Sorry."

Severus looked at Harry, an eyebrow raised. "Now what are you apologizing for?"

Harry shuffled his feet. "For being a stupid little prat?" Severus snorted again, but didn't say anything. Harry's eyes darted toward the door. "Um, sir?"

"Yes, Potter?"

"Erm…Harry," Harry mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Severus said.

"My name…it's Harry. It's not 'Potter'," Harry said. Severus nodded.

"Alright, Harry. What is it?" 

Harry glanced at the door again. "Um, when can I tell Ron and Hermione about…well, about everything? I'm pretty sure they're wondering where I am."

Severus bit back a sarcastic remark referring to his not caring much about his friends last night. He felt that now was probably not the time to anger the boy, especially if he was going to be spending an extended amount of time in his presence. "You'll see them at dinner," he said simply. Harry nodded his understanding before Severus continued. "In the meantime, you should get used to these quarters, as you'll be staying in them for quite a while. The dresser beside your bed is for your things. If you touch the one on the other side of the room, I will be forced to follow through on my previous offer of changing the décor and shackle you to the walls. Agreed?" Severus said, a bit of humor in his voice. Harry nodded. Well, this certainly would be an interesting experience. Interesting, indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Severus led Harry up to the Great Hall that evening for supper. They parted ways as Severus headed up to the Staff Table and Harry hurried to his usual seat between Ron and Dean. He was greeted with wary glances from his yearmates.

"Hey, mate. You missed lunch," Ron finally said after a rather long silence.

"Yeah, we were kind of worried, especially since your stuff vanished from the dorm," Dean added. "What's going on?"

Harry took a deep breath. Well, now was as good a time as any… "Um, yeah. Sorry about that. I wanted to come talk to you sooner, but I was kept kind of busy…moving into my new room." This earned him several shocked looks.

"New room?! What, did they make you Head Boy or something?" Seamus said. Harry sighed deeply.

"Erm…no. Nothing like that," Harry said, then looked down at his hands.

"Then why'd they move you out?" Lavender asked from the other side of Dean.

"Yeah, how come you get a whole room all to yourself?" Parvati, who was sitting across from Harry, added.

"Uh, well…you see…" Harry cleared his throat nervously. "I'm not actually living alone," he finally confessed. Eyes widened all around him. "I've actually been moved in with…er…" He trailed off uncertainly. Perhaps telling them this in the Great Hall wouldn't be such a good idea. He really didn't want to cause an uproar.

"You've moved into Snape's rooms, haven't you?" Hermione finally spoke up, albeit quietly, from Ron's other side. All eyes turned to stare at her briefly before moving back to a very nervous-looking Harry.

Harry gulped. "Um, yeah," he admitted, causing poor Neville to nearly faint as the others just stared at him with mixed expressions of shock and horror on their faces.

Ron finally found his voice. "Merlin, Harry, what are they trying to do to you?" He patted his best friend on the shoulder, trying to be comforting. "I guess Dumbledore has finally gone out of his mind," he added for good measure.

Hermione let out a long-suffering sigh. "Ron, I'm sure that there must be a _very_ good reason why they would move a student into a teacher's quarters, _especially_ when it comes to Harry and Snape."

Harry sighed. "Well…they had their reasons, I guess," he said evasively. He was seriously starting to regret ever leaving the dungeons.

Hermione looked over at Harry, hurt evident in her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure they had their…reasons," she echoed. Harry blinked back at her. Well, she certainly was acting strange. He considered for a moment if she knew…Harry's appetite suddenly vanished.

"Well, I think I'd better get going," he said, standing up. Ron gave him an odd look. 

"But Harry, supper hasn't even started yet…" he trailed off.

"Yes, well, I'm really not all that hungry. I'm actually quite tired, so I think I'll go take a nap," Harry replied, and hastily retreated. Hermione looked at Ron.

"Something is very wrong," she stated.

"…You think we should go check on him?" Ron asked.

Hermione thought for a moment then shook her head. "No," she said, then muttered bitterly to herself, "I think he'll be fine without us."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry started on his way down to the dungeons. He knew he probably shouldn't have just left like that. He knew his friends deserved an explanation. He, however, couldn't work up the nerve to give them one, especially after seeing that look in Hermione's eyes. How could he explain to them why he…did what he did? How could they possibly understand?

"Mr. Potter?" a silky baritone came from behind him. He spun around to see Snape standing in front of the doors to the Great Hall. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Away from there," Harry replied, waving a hand at the doors he had just exited. "I can't handle being in there right now."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why is that?"

Harry sighed in exasperation. "With all due respect, Professor Snape, I'm really not up for playing 'Question and Answer' right now," he said, then turned and began walking toward the dungeons.

"Potter, wait," Snape called after him. Harry turned around, annoyance playing on his features. He just wanted to go lie down and collect his thoughts in peace; was that too much to ask?

Apparently it was, as Snape strode up to him. "I'm coming with you," the man said simply. 

Suppressing a growl, Harry spun on his heel and led the way down to the dungeons.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry couldn't sleep. He'd spent the past three and a half hours lying in his bed, desperately trying to let sleep take him. Now his watch read one-thirty in the morning, and all he had were the memories of 'that day', as Harry had taken to calling it. Memories, ones he really would rather not have, continued running through his mind, tormenting him. He could remember the exact moment Ginny was killed, her expression of terror burned permanently into his memory. He remembered Blaise Zabini, in a strangely Gryffindor act for a Slytherin, jump in front of a young Hufflepuff in hopes of protecting her from Lucius Malfoy's curse. He'd managed to save her, but at the cost of his own sanity. Now he was locked up in St. Mungo's, probably for the rest of his life. He remembered Colin trying to save his younger brother. Macnair got them both. The most painful, though, was the memory of Remus Lupin grabbing hold of Wormtail as the traitor aimed his wand at Harry, only to have the spell misfire and hit Remus instead. He could still remember Sirius's horrified screaming over the loss of his lover.

Harry's sobs carried throughout Severus's quarters, causing the older man to flinch at the sound. It wasn't as though Harry had woken him up with his crying; the man rarely got to sleep before three in the morning anyway. What bothered him was that he really didn't know what to do about it. It wasn't as though he had a great deal of expertise in the comforting department – quite the opposite, really. Besides, Severus had a feeling that no amount of comforting could help Harry anyway; at least, not if he was crying for the same reason that Severus could no longer get to sleep at a reasonable hour. Very little could be done for someone plagued by their own memories and conscience. Sighing, Severus turned on his side and listened as Harry cried himself to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: I know it's short. I'm sorry. This is all set-up, I swear. Next chapter will be better, if not sadder. Someone will die…die…die……Ten points if you can guess who it is. Anyway, I have everything through Chapter 10 outlined. I just have no idea where I'll take it from there. It's one of those forks in the road, and I might just scrap it entirely and fudge chapter 10 entirely. (Nice to see my hard work paying off…*sigh*) Anyway, I appreciate all the C&C I've been getting…you guys make me feel so warm and fuzzy…and I NEVER feel warm and fuzzy…awww… As always, C&C of any kind is appreciated. I'll get the next part out as soon as I'm finished writing it, which should be relatively soon. Thanks again for your support, everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: 10 points to Kalih, who guessed correctly the identity of my poor victim. (Was it really obvious?) Trust me when I say I was heartbroken to have to kill them off, really I was. But it was necessary to forward the plot. Please forgive me! 

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Harry woke up the next morning to the sound of slamming drawers and muttering. "Ron?" he called out sleepily.

"No, Potter, it's me," Severus replied, slamming another drawer on his dresser shut and then cursing. Where the hell had he put that damned vial?!

Harry sighed quietly as he realized where he was. Right. Snape's chambers. He sat up and saw the men at his dresser, still in his black silk pajamas, his hair messily pulled back out of his face. Inexplicably, Harry blushed. "Um, sir? What are you looking for?"

Severus turned to face Harry, an unreadable expression crossing his face. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Potter," he replied after a short pause.

"Harry," Harry corrected him quietly.

Severus blinked. "Sorry?"

"It's Harry, remember?" the young man reminded him.

"Right. Sorry…Harry," Severus amended before turning back to his search.

Harry looked at his watch. It was a little after five in the morning; no wonder he was still a little sleepy. Sighing, he got out of bed and stood in front of his own dresser.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked from the other side of the room. "You don't have to be awake for a couple more hours."

Harry shrugged. "I'm not all that tired anymore," he lied, then added an element of truth with, "Besides, I'd never be able to get to sleep with you banging around like that."

Severus mumbled an apology, but didn't stop. Harry shrugged, turned to his dresser, and pulled out his clothes for the day. At least he'd have plenty of time to compose his explanation for Ron and Hermione.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus and Harry once again walked up to the Great Hall together, breaking off to go to their respective tables once they entered.

As Severus sat down at the Staff Table, he saw Dumbledore give him a grave look. That wasn't a good sign, and Severus had to wonder what he did wrong.

"Severus, I'd like to speak with you privately in my office immediately after breakfast," the old man leaned over and whispered. Severus simply nodded.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry sat toward the very end of the Gryffindor table, not at all looking forward to giving his explanation. He mentally prepared himself as the other students began filing into the Great Hall. When Ron and Hermione entered, he sent a silent prayer up to anyone who would listen before forcing a weak smile onto his face as they sat down on either side of him.

"Hey, Harry," Ron quietly greeted his friend, smiling weakly. He'd never been much of a morning person.

"Hello, Harry," Hermione said from his other side. Harry couldn't help but notice the slight chill in her voice.

"Hi," Harry replied. He waited until they'd both served themselves breakfast before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I owe you both an explanation," he began. His two friends turned to look at him, but said nothing. Harry swallowed hard, then continued. "The reason why I'm living with Snape is because I…" he trailed off into uncertainty.

"Go on, Harry, you can tell us," Ron encouraged, placing a hand on his best friend's shoulder. Harry gulped but nodded.

"I tried to…hurt…myself Friday night," he concluded. He looked down at his hands in shame.

"Oh, Harry…" Hermione said, throwing her arms around him and holding him tight. She fought back her tears as she squeezed him gently. "Harry, why?"

Harry tensed slightly at her question, but didn't answer. He let out a quiet sigh instead as Hermione finally pulled away.

"Hey, mate," Ron finally spoke up from his other side. Harry turned to face him only to be pulled into a fierce, brotherly embrace. "Don't scare me like that again, Harry. Don't hurt yourself like that," he whispered before pulling back. "We love you, you know, Hermione and me, and Dean and Seamus and Neville…and Ginny and Fred and George and Mum and…" he trailed off, grinning sheepishly. "Well, you get the idea." Harry smiled weakly.

"Harry," Hermione spoke up again. Harry turned back to look at her. She smiled at him, blinking back tears. "I understand if you don't want to tell us why just yet, but please, Harry, remember that we'll always be here for you. We're your friends and we love you." Her lower lip began to tremble, before she finally allowed the tears to fall. "Oh, Harry!" she sobbed, throwing her arms around his neck once again, sobbing into his shoulder. Harry, having grown accustomed to this thanks to Hermione's monthly mood swings, gently stroked her hair. He felt horrible. He never meant to hurt anyone, and certainly didn't want to make Hermione cry. Finally, Hermione composed herself and pulled back, granting Harry a big smile. Harry couldn't help but smile back.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus sat, sipping tea apprehensively across from the headmaster. Very few good things ever came out of these meetings, and judging from Dumbledore's expression in the Great Hall, this would not be one of them.

Dumbledore folded his hands in front of him, a pained expression crossing his face. "Severus, I have bad news."

"So I gathered," the Potions Master said, setting down his tea cup. "Well, what is it?"

Dumbledore sighed deeply. "Sirius Black is dead."

A flurry of emotions made their presence known in Severus's chest at the news. This was what he'd been praying for years to happen, yet he couldn't bring himself to jump up and dance through the corridors in celebration as he had once planned. Rather, a feeling of deep concern for Harry's well being was the first thing to cross his mind, as well as an inexplicable feeling of sorrow. Okay, so maybe he had grown to gain some respect for the man…he had, after all, saved Severus's life in the final battle. But that didn't mean that he forgave him. 'Focus, Severus,' his inner voice commanded. 'The boy. Worry about the boy.' After telling his inner voice to shut up and that he was perfectly aware of what needed to be done, Severus turned back to the headmaster, who had begun speaking again.

"Severus, I'm not sure how to tell Harry, given his condition," Dumbledore admitted. "I daresay it would have been hard enough if the boy were well, but…"

"I understand, Albus," Severus assured the older wizard. "I suppose you want me to be the one to tell him?" 

Albus shook his head. "No, no…I just want you present when I break the news to him." 

Severus looked at him oddly. "Why?"

Albus's eyes regained a little of their twinkle. "I believe, Severus, that he and you are kindred spirits."

Severus scoffed at the absurd notion. "What on earth would give you that idea?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly, but didn't answer. "Nonetheless, Severus, I would appreciate if you could be present to help support the boy. At the very least, you can relate to his sense of loss, probably better than anyone else can." Dumbledore sighed. "I understand, however, if you don't want to be present. I expect his reaction will not be a pleasant one, and quite frankly, I'm not looking forward to breaking the news to him myself…"

Severus shook his head. "No, it's alright. I will stay when you tell him." He inwardly sighed. "Shall I fetch him now, then?"

"If you would be so kind," Albus replied, then smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Severus."

Severus didn't respond as he strode out of the office and headed back toward the Great Hall.

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	8. Chapter 8

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 8

It was a tense walk to the headmaster's office. Snape had shown up just as breakfast was ending and told Harry to follow him to see Dumbledore. Neither of them had spoken the whole way, but Harry could tell that there was something bothering Snape. He just hoped it had nothing to do with this sudden meeting. Suddenly, a billion questions about the nature of the meeting began running through his mind; what if they'd changed their minds? What if they were going to expel him? What if they sent him to St. Mungos? What if they'd told Sirius and he'd decided to pull Harry out of Hogwarts? What if…

"Potter," Snape said, his sharp tone cutting through Harry's daze and effectively shaking him back to reality. They'd already made it to Dumbledore's office and Snape had given the password. With an air of trepidation, Harry ascended the stairs to the headmaster's office, Snape following close behind.

"Ah, Harry! Come in, come in!" Dumbledore's voice rang out just as Harry raised his fist to knock on the headmaster's door. Briefly wondering how Dumbledore did that, he nodded and stepped inside, with Snape coming in behind him. Dumbledore gestured to a chair across from him, and Harry took it. Snape stood behind Harry and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry wasn't sure if it was meant to be comforting, but somehow it only made him feel even more nervous. "Hot chocolate?" Dumbledore offered. Harry reluctantly took it and sipped it politely, although his stomach felt like it was going to turn inside-out from nerves.

"Headmaster, perhaps you should get to the point?" Severus suggested after an extended silence where Harry sipped his hot chocolate. Snape could feel the boy trembling beneath his hand ever-so-slightly, probably from nerves, and Snape felt that making him even _more_ uncomfortable would probably be counter-productive.

Dumbledore sighed inwardly as he gazed at Harry. He wished that he didn't have to give the poor man such painful news – Harry had suffered enough already. Nevertheless, he had to know. "Harry, I'm afraid I have some bad news…"

Harry felt his stomach drop. Bad news? How could there be _more_ bad news? Weren't things bad enough? What else could possibly go wrong?

Dumble dore cleared his throat as Severus grasped Harry's other shoulder as well. "I'm afraid, Harry, that something went wrong on Sirius's mission…"

Sirius?! Something was wrong with Sirius?! Harry sent a prayer up to whatever deity happened to be listening. _Not Sirius. Please, don't take Sirius away…_

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore continued, "but Sirius didn't make it. He's dead."

Harry's whole body froze up and his mind went totally blank for a moment before the tears began to fall. "No," he whispered.

"Harry, I…" Dumbledore began, but was unable to finish as Harry stood up and wrenched himself from Severus's grasp.

"No!" Harry cried out. "He's not gone! He _can't_ be! He promised he wouldn't leave me alone! He _swore_ it! He can't be dead!" And with that, Harry dashed out of the headmaster's office, tears streaming down his face.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus found Harry lying face down on his bed in their rooms. He'd stopped crying, but he was still muttering about Black. Severus sat beside him on the bed and rubbed his back awkwardly. Damn Black; how dare he go off and get himself killed after promising Harry that he would come back. Severus knew that he was being ridiculous, that Black had fully intended to come back. Nevertheless, it irked him that Harry had to suffer just because his mutt of a godfather couldn't keep a simple promise.

"Professor?" a tiny voice said from the bed. Severus looked down at Harry. "I just…can you leave me alone?" the boy continued timidly. Severus nodded, then headed for his lab. Upon reaching the door connecting the lab to the room, however, he turned back and looked at Harry, who had curled himself into a ball.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Severus whispered before continuing into his lab.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry refused to leave his bed for three days after that. He wouldn't eat or communicate with anyone. It had gotten to the point where Dumbledore sent Ron and Hermione down to visit Harry in Severus's chambers (which, of course, Severus was not thrilled with, but he gave in and allowed it for Harry's sake), but Harry turned them away the moment they entered.

On the fourth day, however, Harry did finally get up. He was alone; Snape must have had a class to teach or something, and Harry realized he had a perfect opportunity on his hands. If Sirius couldn't come back to see him, then he would go to see Sirius. He started tearing the room apart, searching desperately for something to help him, but found nothing. He tried to get into Snape's workroom to see if there wasn't anything in there that could help him, but Snape had sealed it up with a powerful locking spell and Harry couldn't get through. That left only one more place to look…

Harry was at Snape's dresser in four strides. He tore open the top drawer – silly man hadn't put a locking spell on the dresser – and began rummaging around. Nothing. Slamming that drawer shut, he moved on to the middle drawer. There, at the bottom of the drawer, hidden by a pile of folded robes, was a vial. Harry seemed to recall writing a paper for Snape's class on a particularly fatal poison that looked much like the contents of the vial. Smirking, he grabbed it, popped the cork keeping its contents sealed, and downed the whole thing. Blackness soon took him and he collapsed to the floor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Yes, I realize that was horribly short. I was going to make it longer, but then it wouldn't have come out until tomorrow, and it's already been far too long since my last post. It bothers me. Anyway, I have a horrible urge to write an omake for this chapter. Pure smutty, NC-17 slashiness with all previously established characterization and most of the plot thrown right out the window. Remember what Sevvie said he would do if he ever caught Harry going through his dresser? ***coughs* ** Ahem. Yes, well. Tell me if I should bother writing it. I'll try to make the next chapter extra-long to make up for this one's brevity. Remember, C&C is always welcome and encouraged in all its forms. 

~Els-chan


	9. Chapter 9

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Insert standard disclaimer here.

A/N: Okay, I was in a kind of weird state of mind when I wrote this chapter, so I'm sorry, but Sev may seem just a TAD out of character, and Pomfrey may seem a little…off…but at the very least, I kept Harry in character. Really. Well, as "in character" as he could be, considering. Also, watch for the Monty Python reference. (I told you I was in a weird mood…my mind is like a disaster area, I swear…) I'm going to be working on the Chapter 8/9 omake next, so it might be a bit longer before Chapter 10 gets out. Anyway, enough of my silly ramblings. On with the story.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus stalked through the dungeons to his rooms after a particularly painful class. Apparently, his third year Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw class could give Longbottom a run for his money. Muttering to himself about incompetence contaminating the gene pool, he barked out the password to his rooms.

"Shit," was all Severus managed to say upon stepping over the threshold. There was Harry, lying completely still on the floor, a vial clasped in his hand. He hurried over to the young man's side and immediately began checking for vital signs. Nothing. Fear and Panic welled up inside his chest just as tears started welling up in his eyes. He quickly brushed them away and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. That's when he noticed his dresser drawers were open and had clearly been rifled through. Swallowing hard, he looked through the middle drawer. It was gone. The vial was gone. Which meant that the vial Harry had in his hand…

Sighing deeply in relief, Severus turned his attention back to the unconscious boy. "It figures that you'd find it over the course of one class period when it took me hours to search for it," he muttered, then hauled the boy up and carried him to the Infirmary.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Madam Pomfrey was having an easy day. Aside from cleaning out a first year's skinned knee, she'd had no patients. It was giving her plenty of time to catch up on her reading, which was precisely what she was doing when the door burst open and in stormed the bane of her existence carrying her most frequent patient.

"Pomfrey! We need a bed!" Severus demanded, and without waiting for a response, laid Harry out on the nearest cot.

"Severus! What did I tell you about using your failed potions on students?! This is the fifth one this week!" Pomfrey scolded, walking over to take a look at Harry. She stopped short, however, upon actually seeing him. He was deathly pale, even paler than he was after his encounters with the dementors. She was just about to check his vitals when Severus stopped her.

"Don't bother," he said, his expression completely unreadable. "You won't find any life signs." Severus realized that perhaps a little elaboration was in order as Pomfrey looked ready to kill him. "He's not dead. He's just…resting."

"Resting?! RESTING?!" Pomfrey exploded before forcing herself to relax. Finally, still glaring cold daggers of death at Severus, she said, "Explain."

"He found a modified Draught of the Living Death in my dresser. He drank the whole thing," he said, presenting the empty vial as proof.

"Modified? Modified _how_?" Pomfrey asked, taking the vial and eyeing it suspiciously.

"Modified as in he won't be waking up for three days," Severus replied, then added, "but otherwise he should be fine."

"Oh, yes, fine and _dandy_," Pomfrey spat. "Yes, perfectly _fine_ and in a bloody _coma_…"

"It's not a coma…"

"I don't care!"

"Now, now, what seems to be the…oh, dear," a new voice joined in as Professor Dumbledore entered the Infirmary. His eyes darted from Harry to Severus to Poppy before returning to Harry again. "…Severus? What happened to Harry?"

"This idiot put the poor boy into a coma, that's what!" an irate Pomfrey replied, pointing an accusing finger at Severus, who shot her a poisonous look.

"I _told_ you, he's not in a coma! He's just resting!" he said, temper flaring.

"Oh, yes, and I suppose that next you'll be saying that he's pining for the fjords!" she shot back, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

A very confused Dumbledore watched this exchange with only the slightest bit of humor before clearing his throat, effectively drawing attention back to himself. Looking directly at Severus, he asked, "Would you care to explain?"

"Certainly, Headmaster," Severus replied, quickly suppressing his anger. "Mr. Potter found a vial of modified Draught of the Living Death in my dresser. He took it, and now he appears to be dead. He will, however, wake up in three days' time. And he will be _perfectly fine_," he added, glaring at Pomfrey.

"I see," Dumbledore said, moving to stand beside Harry's bed and placing a hand on the boy's forehead. He was ice cold, and Dumbledore drew his hand back quickly.

Pomfrey, meanwhile, had returned to scolding Severus. "How could you leave something like that just lying about?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"IT WASN'T JUST LYING AROUND!" Severus finally exploded. He'd had it with the woman's accusations. The way she was talking, one would think that Severus intentionally put his students in danger, which was just absurd.

"Then how'd he get to it, Snape?!" she retorted. Severus growled.

"I had it in my private dresser," he replied as calmly as he could manage. "He wasn't supposed to go into it. Apparently, I forgot to put a locking spell on it before I left for my class."

"So this is your fault!" Pomfrey persisted.

"Now, now, Poppy," Albus interjected, placing a hand on Severus's arm before he could draw his wand. "We all make mistakes. What's important right now is Harry." He turned to Severus. "Is there any way to wake him sooner?"

Severus sighed. "Well, yes, but that particular potion takes almost three days to brew, so it wouldn't help anyway." Albus nodded slowly as Severus continued. "I brought him here because he should be kept under constant observation while under the effects of the potion. As I said, it's a modified version, and still experimental. I'm only assuming that he'll be alright based on the theory. However, even I can't be entirely certain how it will effect him…"

"Lovely," Pomfrey interjected. "Just wonderful, Severus. I told you, Headmaster, that leaving a student in that man's care would be a bad idea…"

"Fine!" Severus shouted at her. "I get it! I'm not worthy of caring for the precious Golden Boy! So sorry for being a mere mortal!" And with that, he stormed out of the hospital wing and down to the dungeons.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus sat alone in his rooms, glaring at nothing. How dare that woman accuse him of trying to hurt Harry! He would never, _ever_ try to hurt him, regardless of how he may act toward the boy. He cared too damn much to hurt him. Damn it, this was so typical. Try to hide behind a mask, and everyone just assumes… They couldn't be more wrong. Idiots, all of them.

"Merlin, Harry, sometimes, you're more trouble than your worth," Severus muttered to himself, then shook his head. "Well, maybe not more than your worth…" He stopped. Why was he talking to himself like this? Merlin, what was he _saying_?! Sighing, he went and laid on his bed, deciding that now was as good a time as any to work out all these confusing thoughts and emotions.


	10. Chapter 10

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Very weird chapter here, and not quite what I had originally planned. It fits better than the original, though, so I think I'll keep it. 10 points to anyone who caught the (nearly blatant) reference that is the Mysterious Voice/Mirror Harry's name. 20 to anyone who figures out why Tom is hissing so frickin' much. Anyway, as usual, C&C is welcome and encouraged. Slashy hints here, but nothing full-blown yet. (Yet being the key word here) And there should no longer be any doubt about my lack of sanity after this chapter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry found himself standing in the middle of empty space, surrounded by black nothingness. 'Is this death? Am I dead?' he thought to himself.

"No, you're not dead," a voice sounding very much like his own rasped, the sound echoing around him.

"Who's there?" Harry called into the darkness, fumbling for his wand only to realize, to his horror, that he didn't have it.

The voice laughed, although it came out as more of a hissing sound. "Why, I am, of course," the voice replied. Harry's eyes narrowed.

"That's not what I meant! Who are you?" Harry clarified.

"Who am I? Why, I am me and you are me and I am you and you are you!" the voice hissed out amusedly.

Harry was growing impatient, not to mention that the strange hissing was starting to seriously grate on his nerves. "Don't play games! What is your name?" Harry shouted into the darkness.

The voice laughed again, the hissing causing Harry's skin to crawl. "A name? I don't have one of those," it replied, then after a brief pause added," but I guess I could be called Tom…or Harry." It laughed again.

Harry's frustration was building. He wasn't getting anywhere with his current line of questioning. Perhaps a change of tactics was in order. "Okay, then _what_ are you, _Tom_?"

There was a pause as Harry waited for "Tom" to answer. Finally, the voice spoke once more. "I told you. I am me and I am you and you are me and you are you. We are all the same," it replied.

"What do you mean, we're the same?" Harry called into the darkness. Tom didn't answer. "Hello?" Harry cried out. "Are you there?!" There was no answer, and Harry was left alone in silence.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling while he thought about everything that had happened since he had given Harry Potter his last detention almost a week ago. How could so much have happened in so little time? How could so much have changed? He curled up onto his side. What was happening to him? Why were these feelings suddenly coming out of the woodwork? Why _now_, of all times? Most importantly, what would he do about Harry? He knew that once 'The Boy Who Nearly Died' woke up, he'd still be depressed and a danger to himself. Granted, the modified Draught he took would allow him to explore himself at a level deeper than one could usually go, but Severus couldn't shake the nagging feeling that opening Harry's subconscious and unconscious up like that would only worsen things. He wasn't sure why, but he just had a bad feeling…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The voice returned to converse with Harry an indeterminable amount of time later. "Hello, Self," it said, announcing its return and startling Harry.

"You," was all Harry said, and the voice laughed. Harry narrowed his eyes and glared at the nothingness surrounding him. "I'm tired of your games, 'Tom'. Show yourself!" Harry demanded.

"Very well," Tom replied, and suddenly a mirror materialized in front of Harry. Harry warily approached the object and looked into its pristine surface.

What he saw could only be described as his reflection, but not. It was reversed, as though Harry was actually looking at himself rather than his reflection, and the eyes… There was a strange gleam to them, making the irises look as though they were made of snake scales. Harry swallowed hard and noticed the smug look on his reflections face, as if to say, 'Satisfied?'

Harry reached forward to touch the glass surface. The moment he did, the world of nothingness around him shifted, and he found himself and the mirror surrounded by a thick fog.

"What is this?" he asked his mirror self.

Tom stepped out of the mirror with a small sigh before moving to stand beside Harry. 

"This," he replied, "is our playground." And with that cryptic remark, he took Harry's hand and led him into the swirling mists.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus found his feet leading him to the headmaster's office. Really, how could he have forgotten such an important side effect as opening one's subconscious up to themselves?! He blamed it on Pomfrey and her yelling for distracting him. Damn that woman and her incessant nagging…

"Snickerdoodles," he muttered, and the stone gargoyle blocking the staircase to the office slid aside.

"Severus! To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Dumbledore greeted him cheerfully. Severus sighed.

"Sir, there is something you should know about the modified Draught that Mr. Potter took…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry felt a chill go up his spine as he and Tom walked through the mist. He was having trouble thinking clearly, as if something was clouding his mind. 

"Well, Self, what are you thinking?" Tom said as they walked alongside one another through the fog.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Harry asked, stopping short. Tom stopped as well and turned to face him.

"Why do I keep calling you what?" he asked.

"Why do you keep calling me 'self'? My name is 'Harry', not 'self'," Harry replied. His thinking was really starting to become a little fuzzy, and he had to shake his head to clear it.

Tom looked at Harry strangely. "I thought I already explained this…"

"Yeah, yeah, 'I am me and you are me' and all that rubbish. I still don't know what you mean by any of that!" Harry interjected. His companion sighed.

"There is so much that you don't understand, Self. You see, I really am you…well, a part of you, anyway," Tom explained. Harry stared at him in confusion.

"Part of me? What do you mean, you are part of me?" Harry questioned.

Tom sighed again. "It's hard to explain, Self. You see, I am what you draw your power from."

"My power?" Harry repeated, and Tom nodded, smiling slightly.

"Yes, Self. Your power."

Harry stared at Tom for a moment longer. "What do you mean, my power?"

Tom rolled his eyes and sighed impatiently. "You know, for someone so powerful, you sure are dense," he replied, then quietly laughed, this hissing carrying through the dense fog. "I am where your magic comes from, as well as your ability to talk to snakes. Every time you cast a spell or speak in Parseltongue, you draw upon me."

"Wait a minute," Harry held up a hand, desperately trying to wrap his mind around this new information but having increasing difficulty as he was finding it harder and harder to focus. "I thought that my Parseltongue came from Voldemort."

Tom smirked at that. "It doesn't matter where it came from. It's part of you now, and therefore it is part of me." He paused for a moment, then continued. "I guess you could say that Voldemort is just as much a part of you as Harry is, Self."

Harry wallowed hard and shook his head. "No. That's not possible. I am Harry. I'm nothing like that monster…"

"Monster?" Tom laughed. The hissing sound was really unnerving. "Voldemort wasn't a monster. He was just foolish."

"You're wrong. He was a monster," Harry insisted, but Tom simply shook his head.

"No, Self. Voldemort was not a monster. He was a blind fool who was too weak to control his power properly. That is why he failed and you were able to defeat him." Tom took a step toward Harry. "You see, Self, you, unlike him, are strong enough to control that kind of power…and more." Here, Tom leaned forward and hissed directly into Harry's ear, "You can and will succeed where he failed."

Harry stumbled away from Tom, eyes wide. "What the hell makes you think I want to succeed where he failed?!" he spat. "Why would I want to turn into…"

"Because, Self, I am you and you are me. And I know your secret desires. All of them. You will succeed where Voldemort failed." Tom smirked. "Who knows? Maybe you'll be able to gain the loyalty of that man you fancy so much…you know, the one who turned against Voldemort? You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Snape?!" Harry spluttered. "What are you…"

"I told you, I know ALL of your secret desires, Self," tom replied very seriously. "I am you; don't forget that." And with that, Tom vanished into the mists.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And in the Infirmary, a still unconscious Harry quietly murmured, "You are me."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	11. Chapter 11

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Insert standard disclaimer here.

A/N: Horrendously short chapter here, but I've been rather short on time lately. Three tests in one week…ugh. Plus I've got health problems now to top it off, so it's been…difficult, to say the least. So, sorry about the length. I'll try to make the next one significantly longer, and hopefully I'll get it done soon enough that I'll be able to get it up by Monday. Who knows?

30 points to Cosmic Reindeer for guessing the reason why Tom hisses, and why he's called Tom. 20 points to Black Rose for guessing why Tom hisses. Yes, it's because he's speaking in Parseltongue.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a very irate Potions master that stalked through the halls to the Infirmary. His conversation with the headmaster had not gone well, to say the least. It turned out that the damned old fool had kept some rather important information from Severus regarding one Harry Potter. He twitched slightly as he thought back to the conversation, berating himself for allowing his emotions to get out of control. 

***

"What do you _mean_, Voldemort can still influence him?! Voldemort is _dead_!" Severus insisted.

"That's true. However, parts of Voldemort's magic remain within Harry," Dumbledore reminded the professor. Severus scoffed.

"I fail to see how that matters."

"Really? I'm surprised. Think about it, Severus, what is magic? Where does it come from?" Dumbledore prodded. Snape's eyes widened slightly. "It comes from one's own soul," the headmaster answered his own question. "Therefore, it is entirely possible that a part of Voldemort himself…"

"…is alive within Harry," Snape finished. "Oh, Merlin…why didn't you say something sooner?!"

Dumbledore sighed. "What good would it have done? If Voldemort's magic has indeed bound itself to Harry's, and I'm sure it has, then there is nothing we can do. We have no way of extracting it without risking extracting Harry's as well, and losing his magic would more than likely kill him."

Severus exploded. "Damn it, Albus! That's not the point! I could have prevented something like this from happening if I'd known! I could have found a way to…to…I don't know, put his magic into dormancy or something! At the very least, I could have kept that potion hidden better!"

"Now, Severus, putting Harry's magic into dormancy wouldn't have been an option anyway. He still has much ahead of him…"

"For the love of… He's a human being, Albus, not a tool! You can't just go on using him for the rest of his life!" Severus ranted. "It's not fair to him, it's not fair to his friends, it's not fair to Lily and James…hell, it's not even fair to Black and Lupin! And I won't allow it to continue!" Severus finished, glaring at Dumbledore.

Albus looked at him sadly, hearing the unspoken 'it's not fair to me'. "I had no idea that you felt so strongly about this, Severus. Nevertheless, taking away Harry's ability to use his magic cannot be allowed. There are still too many threats…"

"Oh, please, spare me," Severus scoffed, then stormed out of the office, leaving a very concerned and guilt-ridden Dumbledore behind.

***

Severus found himself standing before the door to the infirmary, but didn't go in. Instead, he leaned his forehead against the wall next to the door and didn't move, deep in thought.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry sat on the ground in the middle of the fog, contemplating his conversation with "Tom". He found it rather disconcerting that someone like that knew so much about him, let alone was a part of him. And that damned hissing…

"Hello," Tom greeted, appearing quite suddenly in front of Harry, causing him to start. 

"Tom," Harry acknowledged before returning to his thoughts. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with his "other half". He glared when Tom started to chuckle. "What's so funny?"

Tom shook his head. "You still don't want to accept that we are the same person, do you?"

Harry glared harder. "There is nothing to accept. You are not, nor will you ever be, a part of me."

"Believe what you will," Tom shrugged. "It won't change things. The undeniable fact is that I've always been part of you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Harry felt himself growing angrier and angrier by Tom's words. "Oh, I think there's something I can do," he muttered, then lunged for Tom's throat in a blind rage.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus was startled out of his reverie by a sudden output of magic emanating from within the Infirmary. Rushing in, he saw Harry slightly hovering over his bed, his body rigid and twitching slightly as waves of energy pulsed out of him. Severus cursed and cast a sealing spell around Harry's body to prevent any more energy from escaping before hurrying off to find the headmaster.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	12. Chapter 12

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 12

A/N: OK, yes, this is another very short chapter. I've been finding less and less time to write lately, because apparently professors like to bombard students with tests and pop quizzes the two weeks prior to midterms, and so now I have to actually show up for class once in a while. Terribly sorry about that. I really am. Sorry this is over a week late, too. Apparently giving myself a deadline didn't work as well as I'd hoped.

Meanwhile, I'm starting a new fic challenge for Merlin knows what reason called "Sevviekins' Island". It basically throws some of the HP characters into a Gilligan's Island situation. Still working out the kinks in it, but the details will hopefully be worked out within the week and the official stuff will get posted on my site, along with the uber cheesy main theme (which I'm actually quite proud of, thank-you-very-much).

But enough yammering. I have a chapter to post!

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Tom seemed rather unaffected by Harry's hands on his throat, squeezing the life out of him. If anything, he seemed rather amused by the whole thing.

"Look at me! I'm committing suicide!" Tom laughed. Harry narrowed his eyes and pulled a hand off of Tom's throat to punch him hard in the face. Before the blow could connect, one of Tom's hands came up and caught Harry's fist. "Now, now, none of that. You wouldn't want to bloody up this beautiful face of yours, would you?" Harry growled in response.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus returned with the headmaster to find Harry in the same condition he'd left him. The headmaster hurried over to Harry's side and disabled Severus's sealing spell. Waves of energy began pouring off of Harry once more, and Severus made a sound of protest.

"Relax, Severus. The sealing spell must be down. He needs to work off the excess energy, or else once he wakes up, he'll end up having quite the explosion," Dumbledore explained. Severus sighed and looked at Harry warily.

"What is happening to him?" he finally asked after a pause. Dumbledore shook his head.

"I cannot be absolutely certain, but I believe Harry may be suffering through quite the inner struggle," the old wizard replied.

Severus sat down hard on a chair beside Harry's bed, looking as though he was about to be sick. "My fault…" he muttered. Albus shook his head again.

"Now, Severus, this is hardly your fault…"

"I made the potion. I left the potion where he could get to it, knowing full well how desperate he'd become. It. Is. My. Fault."

Albus sighed and looked back at Harry. "I'll go fetch Poppy from her lunch break," he said, then left. Severus didn't move.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Both of Harry's hands were back around Tom's throat, but their grip was looser than it had been. Tom grinned up at his other half.

"You do know what would happen if you actually managed to kill me, don't you?" he said, his tone more mocking than Malfoy ever managed. Harry's eyes narrowed, but he didn't respond. Tom's grin became a smirk. "Ever heard of the Dementor's Kiss, Self? I know you have. In fact, weren't you almost on the receiving end of one?" Harry glared and his grip tightened. "Careful now, Self. Because if I die, you go with me. There's no halfway with something like this. And somehow, I don't think either of us would appreciate walking around as a soulless husk." Harry thought about that for a moment, then released Tom with a disgusted look and a growl. Tom smiled and rolled his head around in circles as if to remove stiffness. "Ahhh, much better."

Harry sighed and sat down, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his head on his knees. "I don't understand this at all…"

"Don't you?" Tom said. Harry looked up at him wearily. He suddenly felt incredibly drained.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in the hospital wing, Harry's body had ceased floating and pulsing out energy. Severus noticed this immediately, of course, and moved to perch on the edge of the bed by Harry's side. He gently ran his hand through Harry's hair, whispering apologies to the unconscious young man. That was how Dumbledore and Pomfrey found him upon their return.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	13. Chapter 13

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 13

A/N: Yes, it seems my chapters just get shorter and shorter as I go, hmmm? Perhaps the last chapter will only be two words long : 'The End'. At the rate I'm going, I wouldn't doubt it. 

Anyway, the next chapter won't be out for quite a while, as Spring Break starts next week for my college, and I won't have access to a computer for a while. (I finally got my home computer back, but it's not hooked up to the internet yet and probably won't be for quite a while). Therefore, feel free to flame me about the length of time between my uber-short chapters. I won't blame you. In fact, I may very well flame myself. 

Anyway, the internal-Harry sequences will end, at least for the time being, with this chapter. Will they come up again? I have no idea. I'm writing this as I go now, folks; the outline ended with chapter 10. As always, C&C is welcome and encouraged (that means REVIEW for the slower people in the audience). Annnnnd, here we go.

Disclaimer: C'mon, we're 13 chapters in here. Do you REALLY need this anymore?!

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Pomfrey's examination showed that while Harry's "energy burst" had weakened him significantly, he would be able to recover from it by the time he woke up provided that it didn't happen again.

The next two days passed without incident, but Severus Snape still insisted upon watching over Harry day and night. He never left Harry's bedside. As a result, the students were treated to an unusual, but very welcome, break from Potions.

Inside Harry's mind, however, things weren't quite so peaceful.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Tom? What exactly did you mean when you were talking about the Dementor's Kiss?" Harry asked. He was lying on his stomach with his head resting on his forearms, looking at his double sitting cross-legged in front of him.

Tom smiled at Harry. "I told you before that you and I are one in the same, correct?" Harry rolled his eyes and nodded. "Well, think about it. If one half of the whole dies, the other goes with it, right?" Harry sighed deeply.

"But this just doesn't make any sense! How can you be a part of me if I didn't even _know_ about you before all this? It shouldn't effect me. It _shouldn't_, and it's not fair that it does!"

"No one ever said it was fair, Self. Far from it, in fact. But, quite frankly, we have the advantage," Tom said, raising an eyebrow and smirking slightly. Harry frowned.

"What advantage? What are you talking about?"

"I told you before that you could succeed where Voldemort failed because you are stronger. In fact, you are probably the strongest wizard alive. Not even Dumbledore could stand up to you. And you have another advantage." Tom's eyes gleamed. "How many wizards do you know have talked with their own magic before? How many do you think _truly_ understand their own power?" Tom smirked. "_None_, Self. You are being given an opportunity that none before you had. And once I get you to understand me, Self, you will be the most powerful being to have ever lived. Isn't that delightful?"

Harry stared at Tom in disbelief. He weighed his options. He could ignore everything that Tom was ranting about, or he could take Tom up on the offer being presented to him. He had no desire to become the next Voldemort, of course, but gaining a full, working understanding of his own magic could be very useful, and who said that he had to use it for dark purposes? If he really would become more powerful than Dumbledore himself, he'd be able to protect so many more lives than he'd ever imagined. No one else would have to die. Most importantly, he'd be able to avenge everyone who died because of him: Ginny and Colin…Remus and Sirius…his parents… Harry made up his mind. "Alright, Tom, what do I need to know? Let's get started."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

By the end of the short time that he and Tom had worked together, Harry had learned how to control his magic perfectly with or without a wand. There were very few spells that he had trouble casting, and his knowledge of the Dark Arts could rival that of Voldemort himself. He could manipulate his magic in ways he'd never even heard of, to the point where he could revive a person on the brink of death with a single spell. In fact, the only thing that Tom couldn't teach him was Potions, but the again, Potions had always been Harry's weakness.

"You know, Self, that man you fancy so much could teach us quite a bit about Potions if you asked him," Tom pointed out at the end of their training. Harry sighed.

"Snape? You want me to ask _Snape_ to tutor me?" He shook his head. "You must be out of your mind. He'd never agree to that. Besides, with everything I know now, I don't _need_ Potions…"

"Don't be so hasty, Self. Potions are still very useful. Besides," and here Tom took on a conspiratorial grin, "it certainly would help you to get into his good graces." Harry's eyebrows shot up and he couldn't help but smile ever-so-slightly.

"I'll keep that in mind."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was three o'clock in the morning when Severus was awakened from his doze by a quiet groaning. He looked up to see Harry awakening. In his sleep-hazed mind, the thought 'It's about bloody time! Trus him to oversleep from a potion…' made its presence known. Harry was supposed to have woken up the previous afternoon. Suddenly, his mind slapped itself into awareness. Harry was awake!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	14. Chapter 14

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 14

A/N: Hello once again! Sorry it's been so long, but I just got back from spring break on Monday, and then I had chapters to upload to HP Does Gravitation and another fic I did for Ranma ½. But, I did (finally) manage to finish chapter 14! The only problem is that right now, I have about ten different endings that I can use (well, okay, maybe not _ten_, but pretty close!) I don't think that I'm going to use the one where Harry goes bad and Severus is the one that has to kill him, though, unless someone really thinks I should. (I'll do it, too, you know). Who knows? I might even branch the plotline at some point and turn it into two very different fics. You never can know with me…I'm unpredictable like that. Anyway. I don't know why I'm talking about endings already. This story is nowhere _near_ finished. I'm debating having a Draco/Harry love affair go on before the Sev/Harry thing kicks in. Eh, you tell me if you think that would make any sense. 

As a warning, random plot points, such as Harry's vision correction, are going to start being dropped like bricks here on out. It's the little things I failed to mention earlier in the story that cause these things. Forgive me.

30 points to anyone who figures out why Hermione is really getting so overly-emotional.

Glasen Dauthi: Regarding your question: It was originally titled Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil because Harry was trying to shuffle off said mortal coil. Now, I think that the title has taken on new meaning, but you'll just have to wait and see what that is (mostly because I haven't quite gotten that far in the storyline yet). 

Now, ONWARD!

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Harry opened his eyes slowly and checked his surroundings. Ah, lovely – the hospital wing again. He blinked a few times to attempt to clear his magically corrected vision. It was nighttime, he noticed. He heard something moving beside his bed. 'Probably Madam Pomfrey,' he thought to himself. He tried to turn his head to look, but realized that doing so only caused him a great deal of pain, and he groaned.

"Harry?" a deep, silky voice asked from beside him. 'Oh, not Pomfrey, then,' he thought to himself groggily before grunting in response.

Severus was about to burst from relief. He had begun to think that Harry wasn't going to wake up at all – the potion _had_ been experimental. "Harry, how do you feel?" he asked. Harry groaned again. Severus got up and fetched a glass of water and a straw before returning to Harry's bedside. "You must be feeling rather dry," he remarked as he pulled Harry into a sitting position. Again, he received only a grunt in response. It was enough for him, though, as he directed the straw to Harry's lips and watched him drink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry was released from the Infirmary the next morning despite Madam Pomfrey's protests. Harry, however, was insistent that he be allowed to return to his and Professor Snape's rooms, citing the reason that being in the Infirmary brought back bad memories, and therefore he'd have a much harder time recovering there. Finally, Madam Pomfrey had relented, but not until after making him promise to take it easy for the next few days; apparently, he hadn't managed to fully recover from his "explosion", as she'd taken to calling it.

Ron and Hermione came to visit Harry as soon as they'd learned he was out of the hospital wing. This time, however, Harry didn't turn them away. In fact, he was actually quite happy to see them again. He desperately wanted to talk to someone about "Tom", and he wasn't quite ready to trust Professor Snape with that kind of information.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" Hermione asked, perching on one side of Harry's bed.

"Yeah, Harry, you had us really worried," Ron piped up from the other side. Harry sat up and smiled weakly.

"Sorry. I'm feeling better now, though. Thank you," he replied. It was true, too. He wasn't feeling quite as depressed as he had before the incident, and his energy was slowly returning. He leaned his head against the backboard of his bed. "So, how is everyone else? I really miss you guys."

'Uh-oh. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say,' Harry thought to himself as Hermione burst into tears. He looked at Ron to see if he was having a similar reaction, but Ron just rolled his eyes and mouthed to him, 'That time of the month.' Harry nodded in understanding before turning his attention back to Hermione, who was composing herself.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, wiping away her tears. "It's just…I haven't heard you talk like that in so long…Everyone's been worried about you. Things just haven't been the same since…well, you know. And all of us – Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Lavender, Parvati, and I – we've all missed you so much, Harry!" she said, then burst into tears again. Harry awkwardly wrapped an arm around her as she hugged him for dear life. He couldn't remember her ever being this emotional during "that time" before. He sht a questioning gaze at Ron, who shrugged and mouthed, 'Stress.' Again, Harry, nodded in understanding. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Sorry, I just need a moment…"

"If you want to clean up, the bathroom is right through there," Harry said, gesturing to a door on the other side of the room, beside Snape's bed.

"Thanks," she mumbled, then gave him a peck on the cheek before going into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Harry turned to Ron.

"How long has she been like this?" 

Ron sighed deeply. "Since Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore came and took you from the dorms…actually, before that, too. It's just been getting worse since then." He let out a noise of frustration. "I just don't understand why women get so bloody emotional over everything!" he cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Harry laughed. Same old Ron.

Hermione chose that moment to exit the bathroom and reclaim her place on Harry's bed. "Say, Harry…" she began, then bit her lip. "…never mind."

Harry looked at her. "What? What is it?"

"It's just…nothing," she replied, looking away.

Ron sighed again. "Hermione, whatever it is, just spit it out!"

Hermione looked contemplative for a moment before finally speaking. "Well, you know how I said that everyone missed you?" Harry nodded. Where was she going with this? "Well, I was approached by Malfoy on my way to Arithmancy the day after you were taken to the hospital wing because you drank that…whatever you drank." Harry nodded, looking slightly confused. How did she know what had landed him there this time? As if reading his mind, Hermione elaborated. "Dumbledore told us about the potion. Anyway, Malfoy approached me, and he said a very funny thing…" Her eyebrows furrowed and she bit her lip again.

"What did he say?" Harry pressed gently.

"Well…He asked me to pass on a message to you when you woke up," she continued, not meeting his gaze. "He said that if you pull a stunt like that again, he'd kill you himself for being such a total idiot." She swallowed hard. "He also asked me to call you a selfish bastard for him."

Ron and Harry both stared at Hermione in shock. Harry could see Ron's face turning an angry red out of the corner of his eye, and he braced himself for the imminent explosion just as Snape made his grand entrance.

"Weasley, Granger," he greeted them without batting an eye, and promptly made his way into his laboratory. Harry blinked. That was awfully non-chalant of him, considering what he must think of as an invasion of his private space. Mentally shrugging, he turned back to his two friends.

Ron had apparently calmed down the moment Snape had entered, and his face was back to its usual color. He, too, wore an expression of mild surprise that Snape hadn't said anything scathing. Hermione seemed unaffected, however.

"Oh! That reminds me! Your homework!" Hermione exclaimed. "You've been falling behind, you know. I brought some of your books with me so that you can catch up. I'll help you if you want," she offered with a smile.

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry replied, significantly less enthused than his friend. Ron just shook his head.

"Great! I'll just go grab them from…"

"Accio books!" Harry summoned them before Hermione could finish her sentence. They flew at him and landed gently in his lap. He looked up at his two friends to find them staring at him strangely. He blinked. "What?"

Ron swallowed hard. "Harry, you don't have your wand…" Harry blinked, then his eyes widened as realization struck him. That's right – he hadn't been able to do wandless magic until after his little "training sessions" with Tom.

Hermione cleared her throat. "Harry, I think you have some explaining to do."

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	15. Chapter 15

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I'm poor. I don't own anything. I'm in college. Must I say anymore?

A/N: Well. Two very interesting points regarding the Draco/Harry possibility were brought to my attention. Initially, yes, I was going to use it as a bit of an ot-play evice-day (pig latin for plot device) to make Severus jealous. However, it's also true that Severus really doesn't seem like the type to go after someone else's leftovers - especially Draco Malfoy's. And thus, my dilemma. I think I might have a solution, though, and that should come out eventually.

Also, I'm holding off on awarding points for the last question I asked (about Hermione's mood swings) simply because the answer isn't going to come out in this chapter. I do have another question, though, and this one is worth 100 points because it involves a _lot_ of guesswork since it has to do with things the story hasn't touched upon yet: Why does Hermione get weird whenever she talks to or about Draco? This is a hard one, and I'll probably be shocked to tears if someone gets it - not that that's a bad thing.

Anyway, on with the story!

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Snape stood beside the slightly-ajar door, listening to his students talking. He may have agreed to allow them into his chambers, but that didn't mean he trusted them - oh, no. Especially not that Weasley boy. Ah, Granger was talking about homework again…big surprise there. Honestly, that girl really needed to set her priorities straight sometimes - even he knew that homework wasn't quite as important as her friend's welfare. 'Perhaps that's just the girl's way of coping,' his inner voice suggested. He mentally pummeled it into submission and returned his attention back to his students just in time to hear Harry summon his books. Sudden silence followed - could it be? Might they actually be _studying_? - before Weasley's voice cut through.

"Harry, you don't have your wand…"

WHAT?! How could he not have his wand? No seventh year could control wandless magic enough to summon anything, let alone a stack of books! Something was not right here…

"Harry, I think you have some explaining to do," Granger said. Severus took this as his cue and opened the door fully, one eyebrow raised, his arms folded across his chest, in a classic Snape posture.

"Indeed, Ms. Granger," he said, taking in their surprised looks. "I must agree with you."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Damn. _Damn._ He didn't want to tell Snape yet - not until he'd gotten Ron and Hermione's reactions first. He knew Snape would just go directly to the headmaster with whatever information he was given. He'd hoped to keep all of this a secret for a bit longer, but now that seemed impossible.

"We're waiting, Mr. Potter," Snape reminded him, tapping a finger against his forearm. Merlin, how was he going to explain this now? …Oh, well. He'd just have to remember to leave out the parts when he and Tom had discussed Snape. He took a deep, calming breath and began.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"…and then I woke up in the hospital wing," Harry concluded. He checked his audience's reactions. Hermione looked like she was about to start crying again - he was pretty sure that wasn't normal. Ron seemed to be in quite the state of shock - he hadn't seen his friend look quite like that since Ginny had been killed almost three weeks ago. Snape managed to keep his expression unreadable, but he looked paler than he had when Harry had first begun the story. 'Well, that can't be good,' Harry thought to himself.

Severus was at quite a loss. The "Tom" that Harry kept referring to seemed quite intent on setting Harry right onto the Dark Lord's path. Still, there were gaps in the story - small ones that were nearly imperceptible, but Severus knew from Harry's brief pauses and the shifting of his eyes that he was holding something back. He couldn't even begin to imagine what that something was, but he was determined to find out.

"Granger, Weasley, you are dismissed," he said, motioning toward the door.

"But this isn't class…" Weasley protested.

"You. Are. Dismissed," he repeated coldly, and the two Gryffindors quickly excused themselves. With a sigh, Severus turned to Harry. The boy looked absolutely terrified.

"Harry, relax. I'm not going to eat you," he said, desperately trying to inject some semblance of humor into the atmosphere to try to diffuse some of Harry's tension. The boy seemed to relax slightly, although he couldn't imagine why a blush had begun to form across Harry's cheeks. "And despite rumors to the contrary, I am not a vampire, so I won't be sucking…" 'My that's quite the bright shade of red he's turning.' "…your blood, either," he added, taking a seat on the foot of Harry's bed. The boy tried but failed to suppress his laughter, and Severus was satisfied that he'd loosened Harry up enough to talk. He couldn't help but feel somehow triumphant, though, at finally being able to make the boy laugh. 'Maybe I should try that more often…' "Harry, what didn't you tell us?" Severus began. Harry immediately tensed up.

"What makes you think that I didn't tell you something?" he replied nervously. Severus sighed.

"Harry, let me tell you a little story about my older sister, Cecilia," Severus began. Damn, he was using Dumbledore's tactics - the old coot must've started to rub off on him. He noted the look of surprise on Harry's face, and smirked. "What? Even I, the evil Potions master, have a family. Surely you didn't believe those stories about me being hatched from an egg?"

Harry choked back a giggle. "You know about that?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "That and many, many others." He raised an eyebrow. "At one point, rumor had it that my mother was a hag and my father was a basilisk." Harry broke down in giggles, and Snape thought it best not to bring up the fact that Black had been the one to come up with that particular theory regarding his lineage. "I thought you might find that amusing." Harry sobered up, and Severus continued.

"Cecilia was quite possibly the most Slytherin of all the Snapes, so much so that she managed to convince the Sorting Hat to place her into Ravenclaw so that she wouldn't have to deal with House prejudices." Harry's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. Snape felt his lips twitch slightly, threatening to turn into a smile before he forced them back into their usual grim line. "You see, she liked to make a game out of manipulating people, but no one really trusted Slytherins. Had she been sorted there, all of her fun would have been spoilt.

"Cecilia became quite the popular young lady in school, despite the fact that she had, unfortunately, inherited the Snape nose…" Here, Harry snorted and Snape sent him a mock glare, "…and the fact that she was quite possibly the worst Quidditch player in the history of the sport. The girl was about as graceful on a broomstick as a diricawl is in the air. The reason she managed to become so well-liked was because she was so exceptional at hiding her feelings that she was able to fake them. She would usually be found smiling brightly to anyone and everyone, regardless of how she really felt. I was the only one who could see through her barriers and find out what her real feelings were, but that took a great deal of practice and a very keen eye. The ability to read her made reading other people quite easy in comparison. That's how I know that there is something you're not telling me," Severus finished, raising an eyebrow. Harry swallowed hard and averted his eyes.

"What happened to her?" Harry heard himself ask before he could stop the words from escaping. He risked a glance at Snape. His posture had weakened just a bit and he had a faraway look in his eyes. 

"She died in her seventh year," the professor replied quietly before snapping himself back into his hardened exterior and glaring at Harry. "But that has nothing to do with this. What aren't you telling me? What else happened while you were under the influence of the potion?"

Harry bit his lower lip and refused to meet his professor's gaze. "Tom and I talked about…things," he replied vaguely. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I'd assumed as much. My question is, what were you talking about?" he asked.

There was a long pause. Harry swallowed hard before whispering, "You."

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	16. Chapter 16

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 16

A/N: WARNING! This chapter contains a graphic rape scene! It is a HARD 'R'!

Well, now that that's out of the way. Sorry to those of you who were hoping for a Sev/Harry chapter this time around - maybe next chapter. This chapter contains more insight into the final battle, pretty much all from Hermione's POV. Do me a big favor and let me know how my characterization is - especially Draco's - please. 

Now, as for the points that need to be awarded:

30 points to Gryphnwng and Ms. Padfoot for figuring out why Hermione is so emotional.

As for the other, 100 pt. Question, I'm sorry to say that no one got it. I'm not really surprised, mind you…there really wasn't enough information to be able to figure it out. I know it was something of an unfair question, but what can I say? I'm a Slytherin. The answer should be made pretty clear in this chapter.

Now, ONWARD!

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"Damn Snape," Ron muttered as he and Hermione walked back to Gryffindor Tower. "I mean, Harry's finally getting better, and we finally get to talk to him, and what happens? The greasy git throws us out!"

Hermione wasn't paying much attention. Her stomach was acting up again. It had been doing that for a while - ever since the last battle, now that she thought about it - and it was really starting to worry her. Adding that to the hot flashes and the mood swings…Hermione stopped short as her eyes widened in horror. No…it couldn't be…

***Flashback***

"Ginny!" Ron screamed, throwing himself into the fray without a second thought.

"No! Ron!" Hermione called out desperately. She couldn't see him among the mob of people surrounding her, and she had no idea where Harry was, either. Her wand drawn, she was about to hurry forward when someone grabbed her by the hair and roughly pulled her back.

"Oh, no, you're not going anywhere, you little mudblood," a voice hissed in her ear, snatching away her wand and binding her with a quick spell.

***End flashback***

"Hermione? Are you alright?" Ron was asking her. She shook her head to clear it before looking up at her boyfriend. She swallowed hard and felt a few tears escape her eyes. Ron would never forgive her…

***Flashback***

The Three Broomsticks was mostly deserted. Madam Rosmerta, the rest of the staff, and the patrons had all fled in terror the moment the Dark Mark was shot into the sky. The only ones left were Hermione, her captor, and another hooded figure.

"Isn't this Potter's little tramp?" her captor asked.

"I do believe so, old friend," the other man replied silkily. "This should be quite enjoyable." He turned to his companion. "Remove your mask. She should see who will be defiling her."

Her captor removed his mask - Oh, God. Macnair. He smirked down at her wickedly. "I bet she's a virgin, too," he said, running a hand up her thigh before turning back to his partner. "Say, aren't you going to remove your mask?"

"I suppose," the other sighed, sliding his mask off to reveal the smirking face and platinum locks of Lucius Malfoy. He looked down at her. "We're going to make you scream, little girl." Hermione already wished she was dead.

***End flashback***

"'Mione? 'Mione, what's wrong?" she heard Ron ask in a panicked whisper as she sank to her knees and sobbed. She felt like she was going to be sick.

***Flashback***

"Come on, Malfoy! I want a go!" Macnair complained.

"Shut up and wait your turn!" Malfoy growled. He was pounding into Hermione from behind, his hand grasping her hair as he yanked her head back. "How does it feel, Mudblood?" he hissed. "How does it feel to be defiled? How does it feel to become my own personal whore?" He growled deep in his throat as he shot his seed deep into her abused passage. "How does it feel to lose your virginity to a Malfoy, Mudblood?" he hissed in her ear.

***End flashback***

"Come on, I'll get you to the Infirmary," Ron insisted after she had thoroughly emptied the contents of her stomach on the stone floor. She just shook her head and went on sobbing.

***Flashback***

"Now make sure you watch the teeth, girlie, or you'll be paying for it later," Macnair was saying as he thrust into Hermione's mouth. She felt his dick slide down her throat and choked. "That's a good girl," he muttered as he pulled out, then thrust back in.

Suddenly, she heard someone throw a curse at Macnair, and his dick slid out of her mouth as he fell to the floor.

"Draco! What do you think you're doing?!" she heard Lucius yell as he scrambled for his wand.

"_Accio_ wand!" Draco summoned his father's wand to him before the older man could reach it and tutted. "Now, Father, I thought you taught me to be cautious, and here you are, leaving your wand carelessly lying about. I'm so ashamed."

Lucius fumed. "Draco, give me back my wand," he demanded.

"No, I don't think I will," Draco replied, twirling it between his fingers.

Lucius growled and lunged at his son, but Draco quickly cast a full body bind on the older man, and he fell to the floor before he could take two steps. Draco shook his head and rolled the man onto his back.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," he said, brushing a lock of hair out of the furious Lucius's face, "but you've disgraced the Malfoy name. Honestly, raping a child? I thought you had more honor than that." He gently kissed his father on the cheek. "I'm so sorry, Daddy," he whispered as a tear fell from his eye to splatter onto Lucius's cheek. "I only do this because I love you." And with that, Draco stood, pointed Lucius's own wand directly at him, and said the two most damning words in all the wizarding world. There was a flash of green light and Hermione's heart froze.

Draco Malfoy had just killed his own father.

***End flashback***

Hermione had curled herself into a little ball on the floor, still sobbing. Ron was at a loss. What did he say? What was he supposed to do?

***Flashback***

Malfoy wiped the tears out of his eyes before walking over and kicking Macnair's unconscious body. Sticking out of his robes was half of a broken wand - probably Hermione's. "Stupid bastard," he muttered, then grabbed Macnair's wand as well. Finally, he turned to Hermione. Her robes were torn, and she was covered with red welts which would certainly become some rather nasty bruises if left to their own devices. He broke the spell on her that prevented her from moving, and she promptly collapsed, weeping.

Malfoy sidled up beside her, an expression of extreme discomfort on his face. "Here," he muttered, handing her his own wand. She looked up at him in confusion. He sighed.

"I found your wand on Macnair. It was snapped in two. You're obviously going to need a wand if you want to make it back to Hogwarts alive, and mine is the only one that has never cast an Unforgivable. If they check it, you can't get into any trouble," he explained. Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes. "Just take it!" he barked and shoved the wand into her hand. She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Malfoy…Draco. You can't tell anyone about this. Please. No one can know. I don't want them to know that I was…that the Death Eaters…" She broke off sniffling.

Malfoy frowned, then offered her a hand up. "I won't say anything," he promised.

***End flashback***

Hermione's crying began to subside just as Professor McGonagall spotted the two seventh-years. She hurried over and assisted Ron in hauling Hermione up and walking her to the hospital wing.

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	17. Chapter 17

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 17

A/N: In this chapter, Ron shows off his talent for listing things that start with 'H'. Actually, I just can't think of a decent author's note. 

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Severus stared at Harry for a moment. They'd talked about him? "You talked about me?"

Harry refused to meet Severus's gaze. "He wanted me to ask you to tutor me in Potions," he replied, fidgeting slightly.

"What else?" Severus asked, narrowing his eyes. Certainly something as simple as that wouldn't make the boy so nervous.

"Um, that's all," Harry lied. Severus's brows furrowed, and, grabbing Harry's chin in one hand, he turned the younger man's face so he could look him directly in the eyes.

"Don't lie to me. What else did you talk about?" he asked firmly. Harry swallowed hard. Severus could have sworn he saw fear flit across those emerald eyes.

"It…it wasn't important," Harry replied, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the Potions master's. Staring into those dark orbs was causing a warm, tingly feeling to develop in his abdomen, spreading from his belly to his chest and…lower regions. What he wouldn't give just to get lost in those depths…

Severus, meanwhile, was having quite the internal struggle. The boy didn't realize just how tantalizing he was – those soft lips, those flushed cheeks, those beautiful eyes that he could have sworn were starting to cloud with desire… He couldn't pull his gaze away. He desperately wanted – no, needed – to feel those soft lips beneath his, to taste the inside of that beautiful mouth, to run his fingers through that silky hair…

Before either of them could realize what they were doing, they began to draw closer to each other. Harry's eyes fluttered closed as he waited for the soft pressure of his professor's lips. He could already feel the man's breath on his face…

A knock on Severus's chamber door broke the moment, and they quickly pulled apart. Harry blushed wildly while Severus inwardly cursed, although he wasn't sure if he was cursing because he'd almost kissed a student or because he had been interrupted before he'd actually gotten to do so.

Severus cleared his throat before answering the door, only to find an out of breath Ronald Weasley standing on the other side. He had to struggle not to strangle the boy. "What is it? I believe I told you to leave?"

"Hermione…hospital wing…Harry…" the redhead panted as Harry came up behind Severus to see his friend.

"Ron? What's wrong?" Harry asked, concerned. "Calm down."

Ron took a few deep breaths before trying again. "Hermione collapsed and she's in the hospital wing. She said she wanted to see you and…Malfoy," he nearly spat the name in distaste. He turned to Severus. "Professor, please, do you know where Malfoy might be?"

Severus sighed. He was hoping not to get dragged into this. "I'll fetch him and send him to the Infirmary," he eventually ground out after looking down into Harry's pleading eyes.

Ron looked quite relieved with that answer. "Thanks. Come on, Harry," he said, grabbing his friend's hand and nearly dragging him, barefooted, to the Infirmary. Severus shook his head before heading for the Slytherin common room. The things he did for that boy…

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"Harry Potter, where are your shoes?" Madam Pomfrey scolded the moment she caught sight of him. "Honestly, are you trying to make yourself sick?"

"Sorry, Madam Pomfrey," Harry replied, casting his eyes downward in what he hoped was a repentant look. She sighed and fetched him a pair of slippers. 

"And don't let me catch you wandering around the castle barefoot again!" she warned him before leading the two Gryffindors to their friend's bedside. Hermione smiled weakly when she saw them.

"Hey, 'Mione. How are you feeling?" Harry asked, pulling a chair up beside her bed while Ron did the same on the other side.

"I've felt better," she joked weakly just as Draco burst into the Infirmary.

"Potter, Weasley," he acknowledged the other two boys before directing his attention to Hermione. "You wanted to see me?"

Hermione smiled up at Draco weakly. "Yeah," she replied, then gave him a look. Draco's eyes widened in comprehension.

"Is this about…?" he began, and she nodded. He sank down into a chair beside Harry, and Ron glared at him.

"'Mione, what's _he_ got to do with any of this? What's going on?" the redhead demanded, turning his attention back to his girlfriend. 

Hermione could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Ron was going to hate her…

"Shut up, Weasel. You're just upsetting her," Draco snapped before turning back to Hermione. "Go on," he urged her in a soothing voice. Harry hid his surprise at his tone, and instead focused solely on Hermione.

Hermione took a deep breath and swallowed the sob threatening to escape. "I think I'm pregnant," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. Harry gasped, and Draco just sent her a saddened look. Ron, however, exploded.

"You're WHAT?! That's not possible! We've never even…" He turned his eyes to Draco as Hermione began openly weeping. "YOU! You did this to her!" He lunged for Draco, but Harry jumped between them and held Ron back. "Let GO of me, Harry! I'm going to kill him!"

"Which is exactly why I'm not going to let you go!" Harry retorted, struggling with his friend. 

"Hermione, I think you should explain," Draco suggested, not taking his gaze off of Ron.

Hermione quieted her sobs as Harry managed to get Ron under control. "Ron, Draco didn't do anything to me," she began, looking at her enraged boyfriend. "His father did," she admitted. "The day when…you know…" They all knew what she was referring to, "…Macnair and Lucius…they…" she began crying again. Draco frowned, then turned to the other two boys in the room.

"They raped her," he said simply.

Ron looked as though his whole world had come crashing down around him, and he fled the Infirmary. Hermione began crying harder, and the two remaining boys looked at her mournfully.

"Hey, 'Mione," Harry said in his most soothing voice as he took one of her hands in his, "it'll be okay. Really. Ron's just being hotheaded; he just needs to calm down."

"Yeah," Draco added, taking his cue from Harry and moving to her other side to clasp her other hand. "He'll come back in here before you know it, feeling like a total git." He gently brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and smiled at her reassuringly.

To say that Harry was surprised at Draco's gentle behavior was an understatement, but he was grateful for it. Draco looked up at Harry and smiled, and Harry smiled back. Maybe he wasn't all bad.

The two of them returned their attention to Hermione, who was beginning to calm down again. "Thank you," she whispered to the two of them just as Ron came charging back in, looking relatively calmer. He looked at Hermione, then at Draco and Harry. "I'm sorry, but could you two possibly give us some time alone?" Ron asked. Harry and Draco exchanged glances before looking down at Hermione. She nodded, and they released her hands and headed for the door. Before Draco left, however, he paused and glared at Ron.

"You make her cry again, Weasel, and I swear I'll…"

Harry, sensing a potential altercation coming on, quickly went back and grabbed Draco by his upper arm, pulling him out the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The two boys leaned side by side against the wall outside of the hospital wing. 

"God, 'Mione…" Harry whispered to himself.

Draco turned his head to look at his rival. "You don't think he'll hurt her, do you?"

Harry shook his head. "Ron may be a stupid, stubborn git sometimes, but he loves her, and he's smart enough to realize that this isn't her fault," Harry replied, then turned to face Draco. "How did you know about this, anyway? Hermione never once even hinted that something like this had happened to her."

Draco smiled sadly. "I happened to walk in just as Macnair was starting in on her," he explained softly, his ice-blue eyes beginning to cloud with tears. "My father had already finished with her, I think," he added, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Harry's eyes widened. He'd never seen Malfoy show this kind of emotion in public – it was considered a weakness. "Draco?"

"Yeah, the blond whispered back, quickly brushing the tears out of his eyes.

"Did…" Harry swallowed, then continued. "Did something else happen?"

"Not really," Draco replied. "I just bound Macnair and killed Lucius. That's all." His voice had cracked on his father's name, and Harry could see the tears building up in the other boy's eyes. He came to a decision and, moving quickly, pulled the other boy into a tight embrace.

"Cry, Draco. Go ahead – I won't tell anyone," he whispered into the Slytherin's ear. That seemed to be all it took, because Draco suddenly clutched Harry's robes and cried, his body shaking with the force of his sobs.

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	18. Chapter 18

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 18

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It didn't take long for Draco to calm down, but once he had he quickly pulled back from Harry as though he'd been burned. Harry watched as a mask of indifference rapidly covered Draco's features, and he frowned. Before he could say anything about it, however, a piercing shriek rang out from within the Infirmary. Both boys quickly dashed back inside.

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Severus Snape stalked through the corridors, a grim look on his face as he mentally berated himself. Honestly, what had he been thinking? He'd almost kissed a student – not just any student, but Harry Potter, the wizarding world's little golden boy, of all people! What the _hell_ had possessed him? Certainly, the boy was attractive, and yes, Severus had developed feelings for him, but damn it, Severus had always prided himself on his control! To have allowed himself to do something like that was nothing short of infuriating…and disconcerting. It _would_ be Potter to get past his defenses like that. The Gryffindor had been the cause of so many of his other problems over the past seven years; why would this be any different?

The thing that bothered Severus the most, though, was not the fact that he'd allowed himself to lose control. What really bothered him was that he'd liked it. Cursing to himself, Severus quickened his pace. It was time he had another conference with the headmaster.

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"Hermione! Are you al…" Harry trailed off as he took in the scene before him. Hermione had tears streaming down her face, but she was…smiling. Ron was kneeling beside her bed, holding what looked for all the world like… "Ron, I thought you were going to wait until graduation!"

Ron looked up at his best friend and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, well, considering the circumstances, I kind of figured that I should probably go ahead with it a little early…" He turned back to Hermione. "So, what do you say, 'Mione?" He bit his lip.

Hermione laughed and threw her arms around him. "Of course I'll marry you, you git!" she replied, before kissing a very relieved Ron senseless. Harry could have sworn he heard Draco mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'Bloody Gryffindors' before the blonde stalked out of the Infirmary.

"Harry?" Ron said, standing and turning to his best friend once Hermione finally let go of him to put the ring on, "You'll be my best man, won't you?"

Harry grinned broadly and slung an arm around Ron's shoulders. "Of course I will! That's what best friends are for, right?" Ron smiled and pulled Harry into a bone-crushing hug. 

"Among other things," Ron replied with a chuckle before letting go. Harry laughed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco flopped down on his four-poster safe within the confines of the Slytherin dorms. Drawing the curtains closed, the laid back and stared at the ceiling. Lovely. Just lovely. As nice as the thought of having a younger sibling was, he knew that it could never be considered a Malfoy – the bastard child of a mudblood would destroy the bloodline, and if there was one thing that Draco prided above all else, it was the purity of his family's bloodline. Granted, over the past few years he'd realized that in terms of skill muggle-borns were usually just as good as purebloods, and a great deal of his prejudice had dissipated, but that certainly didn't mean that he was willing to allow his family's bloodline to be contaminated by one. Maybe he could convince Hermione to lie about the father's identity…

And what on earth was that business with Potter about? Since when did he let _anyone_, let alone Potter, see him cry? Sure, he was still a wreck – it's not every day that you cast your first Unforgivable on your own beloved father after watching him drag your family name through the mud. That, however, was no excuse for letting his guard down.

It occurred to him that he'd been so concerned with Hermione and his father's death that he'd forgotten to ream into Potter for scaring the hell out of him with his little suicide attempt. Not that he was fond of Potter or anything; he just needed Potter to play the part of his antithesis to maintain balance – at least that's what he told himself. The truth was that over the past couple of years Draco began getting a warm feeling in his chest whenever Potter was around. He steadfastly refused to believe it was anything more than indigestion.

Draco turned on his side and closed his eyes. All right, so maybe Potter wasn't all that bad. He certainly would make a powerful ally if they ever became friends. The thought made Draco laugh bitterly. He'd already offered his friendship to Potter and had been turned down. What made him think that anything had changed? …Okay, so maybe he had smiled at Draco, and he _had_ let Draco cry on him with the promise not to tell anyone…that didn't necessarily mean anything. It could have just been Potter playing the part of the typical 'noble' Gryffindor.

Speaking of which, how dare that Weasley assume that Draco would ever allow his half-sibling to be raised by any member of the Weasley family? Bastard or not, Malfoys were not paupers. Draco sighed. He supposed there really wasn't any other option, though. If he made a big deal out of it then people would start to suspect that the child was actually part of the Malfoy bloodline, thus ruining his family's reputation. Since he couldn't allow that, Draco decided that he'd just have to spoil the kid rotten once it was born to ensure that it didn't end up like any of the Weasley riff-raff. It really was the best he could do without destroying a pureblood line over nine centuries old. 

He made a mental note to talk to Hermione and the Weasel about it later. At the moment, however, he was physically and emotionally exhausted and in desperate need of a nap.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I knew that this was a bad idea from the start, Headmaster! I _told_ you that putting the boy in my care would be disastrous, and now here is the proof!"

"Now Severus, it's just a kiss…"

"Just a…? With all due respect, sir, I think you fail to see the severity of the situation!" Severus paced back and forth in front of the headmaster's desk. "He's my student! I'm old enough to be his father! He's been placed in my care! It's wrong on so many levels…" He stopped pacing and took a deep, calming breath to organize his thoughts.

"Severus, look at me," Dumbledore commanded, and Severus raised his eyes to meet the sparkling eyes of the headmaster. "There is nothing wrong with how you feel. As for the age difference, twenty years to a wizard is just a drop in the bucket, and you know it." He smiled benignly. "And while he may be in your care, Severus, you're not his guardian. In fact, I was considered to be in the care of my dearly departed wife for the years that we spent together. Why, without her, I may never have discovered the wonders of a good pair of woolen socks."

Severus shook his head. "But sir, there are rules…"

"To quote the very wise Weasley twins, 'Sod the rules.'" Severus stared at his mentor, utterly bewildered. "Severus, the two of you already live together. As long as you are discreet, no one would ever have to know if something was going on." Severus opened his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore raised a hand. "Severus, I will not be a part of this mortal world for much longer. However, in what little time I have left, I would like to see two of the people I care the most about find much-deserved happiness."

Severus swallowed hard and averted his eyes. "I don't deserve…"

"You deserve happiness as much as anyone else does if not more, Severus." Severus raised his eyes to meet the headmaster's very serious gaze. He choked back the lump forming in his throat and simply nodded in understanding. Dumbledore smiled and sat back, relieved. "Now, Severus, was there anything else you needed to discuss, or would you be willing to share some tea and idle chatter with an old man?"

Severus quirked a corner of his mouth upwards before answering, "Tea would be fine, Albus."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry quietly entered the rooms he shared with Professor Snape. Looking around, he realized that he was alone. Smiling slightly to himself, he flopped down onto his bed. Apparently good things could come out of the bad. Certainly, it didn't diminish the severity of the bad things, but it made them easier to cope with. A grin spread across his face. His two best friends were getting married, and he couldn't be happier for them. He glanced across the room at Severus's empty bed and his smile faltered a bit as he remembered the almost-kiss. 'Maybe that's why Professor Snape isn't here…he's so disgusted with me that he can't even look at me,' Harry thought gloomily. He forced that thought out of his head – he had other things to worry about, like how weird Draco Malfoy had been acting lately. Since when did he give a damn about Harry's well being? And since when was he nice to Hermione…? Okay, given the circumstances, he sort of understood that. But the way he was acting… Maybe Harry had been wrong about him. Perhaps it was his turn to approach Draco about a possible friendship. Deciding to talk with the Slytherin about it the next day, Harry rolled over and fell asleep. He didn't hear Severus enter a few minutes later, nor was he aware of the gentle kiss to his temple or the whispered, "Good night."

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	19. Chapter 19

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 19

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out. I've had really bad writer's block…in fact, I still pretty much have writer's block, hence why this chapter is kind of on the short side. 

HOWEVER, to make up for that, I do have cuddlebunny-slashiness in here as a reward for all of you patient people out there who haven't come to my house and beaten me upside the head in with a plastic spoon…or something to that effect.

Disclaimer: I'm a college student. 'Nuff said.

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It was around two in the morning when Harry woke up, screaming. He'd forgotten to take the Dreamless Sleep, and wound up having one hell of a nightmare. He'd watched as everyone he loved – Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, his parents, Snape; the list was endless – died a gruesome death, one by one, all by his hand.

Severus was jolted out of his light doze by the screaming and he looked around for the source. Finally, his senses returned to him just as the screams became sobs. He got up and moved to Harry's side, sitting next to the boy on the bed. "Harry?"

Harry looked at his professor through tear-filled eyes for a moment before throwing himself into the man's chest. Severus, somewhat bewildered, tentatively wrapped the boy up in his arms, whispering soothing reassurances.

Eventually Harry calmed down, but neither he nor Snape made any move to separate. If anything, Harry's grip on Severus tightened as silent tears continued to stream down his face. Severus rested his chin on the top of Harry's head and lightly stroked the boy's back.

"…you're alive," Harry muttered into Severus's chest after a long pause. Severus raised an eyebrow. 

"So I am," he whispered. Harry pulled back to look him in the eye. He sniffled and pushed a stray lock of hair out of Severus's face.

"…I'm sorry for waking you," Harry murmured. Severus shook his head.

"Never mind that; what caused that reaction of yours just now?" he inquired, using his thumb to brush some of the tears from Harry's face. Harry swallowed hard.

"…I killed everyone," he quietly replied, looking away from the professor. "Everyone I care about…I murdered all of you, one by one…" He choked back on the lump in his throat.

Severus's eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline. "Harry…" he began, but stopped when he realized that he had no idea what to say.

Harry began to elaborate. "Remus was first, then Sirius, then my parents, then Dumbledore, then you, then Hermione and Ron…and it didn't stop there. I killed everyone, Professor. Every last person…" Again, he choked on the sobs threatening to escape his throat. Severus frowned. He took the boy's hands in his, gently squeezing them.

"Harry," Severus whispered, and Harry looked up to meet his gaze.

"…But you're not dead, are you?" the boy said before Severus could continue his thought. Severus allowed a small, nearly imperceptible smile to grace his features.

"No, I'm not," he reassured him. He squeezed Harry's hands again to punctuate his statement. A weak but relieved smile spread across Harry's face, and he moved closer to Severus, resting his head against the older man's chest. Eventually, he spoke again.

"…Will you stay here with me tonight?" he whispered, his voice wavering ever so slightly. Severus's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm always here," Severus replied. He heard Harry sigh quietly.

"No, I meant…can you stay here in bed with me?" the younger man clarified.

Severus hesitated for a moment before replying, "If that's what you want." He felt Harry nod against his chest. "Okay, then," he whispered mostly to himself, and let go of Harry's hands so that he could slide under the covers with the Gryffindor.

Harry waited for Severus to get settled before curling up next to him. After a brief moment of indecisiveness, he moved closer so that his head rested on Severus's chest. He sighed contentedly as he felt the professor's arms wrap around him. Eventually, they both fell into a peaceful slumber.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus woke the next morning with someone in his arms. He looked down in confusion and saw Harry. 'Oh, that's right. The nightmare,' Severus recalled as he began absently stroking the boy's dark hair.

Harry woke up to the feeling of fingers running along his scalp. He smiled and emitted a sound very much resembling a purr. The fingers stopped for a moment then began petting him again. "You're awake," Harry heard someone mutter from above him. He nodded absently in response and snuggled closer to the warm body beside him. Nothing more was said for several minutes as those fingers continued their ministrations in silence, and Harry began to drift off.

Severus noticed Harry begin to nod off again and he withdrew his fingers, sliding them down to grasp Harry's chin and tilting his face upwards. He nearly gasped as the young man's eyes caught his – Harry was beautiful. There was really no other way to adequately describe him with those full, pink lips, rosy cheeks, and bright, sleepy eyes. He swallowed hard. "We should probably get up. Now that you've been seen up and about, you'll be expected in the Great Hall for breakfast," he whispered.

"What if I don't want to go? What if I want to stay right here?" Harry replied softly, his cheeks darkening a bit as a blush spread across his features. Severus's other hand absently moved itself from the small of Harry's back to begin playing with the boy's hair again.

"Well, I imagine that there would be a storming of the dungeons as the entire Hall demanded to know what I'd done with you," Severus said with a smirk. Harry giggled quietly.

"Somehow I doubt that," he said. Severus cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh? And what makes you so sure?"

Harry shrugged. "Just a feeling I have, I guess." His hand slid up to play with a stray lock of hair that had come out of Severus's ponytail during the night. "'S not greasy," he mumbled to himself.

Severus chuckled. "Thank you for that kind observation." Harry grinned up at him.

"I guess now I can honestly tell everyone that you're not greasy or slimy," he said. Severus smirked.

"Oh, I don't know if that's such a good idea. People might wonder how you'd know that."

"So I'd tell them. 'Everyone, Snape's not greasy. I know; I've slept with him'," Harry proclaimed, and Snape choked.

"Are you sure that's the way you'd want to word that? Your peers will surely get the wrong idea," he pointed out.

A look of mock thoughtfulness crossed Harry's face. "Hmm, you think so?" He smirked. "I think it'd be worth it to see Ron's expression."

Snape shook his head in amusement. "Indeed. I imagine Mr. Weasley's face would match his hair after a comment such as that."

"Mmm," Harry agreed. A thought occurred to him. "Then again, that'd probably happen if he'd thought I'd only kissed you," he added quietly, biting the inside of his lip.

Severus swallowed hard. "I imagine that wouldn't go over very well," he said.

Harry frowned slightly. "Oh, I don't know…though I suppose there's only one way to find out," he replied, then reached up and pressed his lips against Severus's.

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	20. Chapter 20

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil  
  
Chapter 20  
  
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A/N: Long time, I know. Sorry about that, but my access to the internet is limited to whenever I can sneak on my baby brother's computer. Not only that, but I've been helping with the development of both 'Dogstar: The Sirius Black Fuh-Q-Fest' (geocities.com/dogstar_fqf) and 'Howling At The Moon: The Remus J. Lupin Fuh-Q-Fest' (geocities.com/howling_at_the_moon_fqf), so that's been eating up a rather large portion of my time. Anyway, at least I got a new chapter out, so we get to see Sevvie's (initial) reaction to "THE KISS", and some Draco - Harry interaction. W00+.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If I ever pick up any kind of ownership of anything Harry Potter related, I'll let you know. For now, please assume I own nothing.  
  
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Severus froze. Harry Potter was kissing him. Harry Potter, his student, was kissing him, and it felt better than anything he'd ever experienced before in his life. At least, it would have if it weren't for that pesky conscience he'd developed sometime after he'd first joined up with the Death Eaters nagging him about just how inappropriate it was to kiss a student, regardless of what Albus Dumbledore may have said. Reluctantly, he pulled away. "We can't do this…"  
  
"Sorry," Harry muttered before Severus could continue, throwing himself out of the bed and hurrying to the door. He was gone before Severus could stop him.  
  
"Oh, bloody hell."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Harry made a mad dash for Gryffindor Tower, hoping against hope that they hadn't changed the password without telling him. How could he have been so stupid? What was he thinking, kissing Snape like that? Did he honestly expect some sort of favorable response? What a stupid thing to do…he wouldn't be surprised if the professor decided that he wouldn't allow Harry to stay with him anymore.  
  
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Draco Malfoy until it was too late and he had slammed into the blonde boy's back, effectively knocking them both to the ground.  
  
"What the hell was that for, Potter?" Draco demanded, sitting up and rubbing his back where Harry's head had connected with it. "Are you trying to kill me?"  
  
Harry shook his head to clear it, then looked up at his unfortunate victim. "S-sorry, Malfoy," he mumbled, standing and brushing himself off.  
  
Draco looked at Harry and cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you running around in your pajamas and knocking people over, anyway?" he inquired in mild confusion. "Don't tell me you've forgotten how to dress yourself now."  
  
Harry frowned down at Malfoy, but offered him a hand up anyway, which Draco took. "I'm really not in the mood to fight with you right now, Malfoy," he said simply as the other boy fixed his hair.   
  
Draco studied him silently for a moment. "So what happened, then?"  
  
Harry blinked. "Excuse me?"  
  
Draco rolled his eyes. "You heard me, Potter. I asked you, 'what happened?' It must have been pretty bad if you're going around trying to give people concussions."  
  
Harry looked at his rival in mock astonishment. "Why, if I didn't know better, Malfoy, I might actually have thought you cared!"  
  
Draco sneered. "Obviously, Potter, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?"  
  
"No, I suppose we wouldn't," Harry agreed with a tiny, bewildered smile, feeling the embarrassment from earlier beginning to drain away. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "Hey, Malfoy, would you mind telling me something?"  
  
Draco narrowed his eyes slightly. "What?"  
  
Harry bit his lip. "I was just wondering why you told Hermione to call me a selfish bastard, that's all."  
  
The Slytherin snorted. "Isn't it obvious? I mean, you are, aren't you? You did try to kill yourself, you know."  
  
Harry blushed lightly. "Well, yeah, but somehow I kind of got the impression that you wouldn't care," he replied. Draco shook his head.   
  
"You really are an idiot, aren't you, Potter?"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Well, it's true," Draco persisted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, you can't honestly believe that after seven years you wouldn't have some sort of effect on me?"  
  
Harry swallowed. "Well, I…"  
  
"Just shut up, Potter," Draco growled, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He'd said too much - far more than he'd intended - and he knew it. How disgustingly unlike him. "Forget I said anything."  
  
"Actually, I'd rather not," Harry replied defiantly. "In fact, I actually wanted to talk to you about something. I guess it was sheer luck that I ran into you like this." He swallowed hard. "Look, I know we've never gotten along, and I know that a lot of it is my fault. I…I guess I misjudged you, Malfoy, and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions about you the way I did based solely on what I heard everyone else saying. I'm not even going to try to justify it. But I was wondering if maybe, just maybe, you'd be willing to start over again, and possibly even become friends this time around?"  
  
Draco snorted and smirked. "You've had a lot of practice apologizing in your lifetime, haven't you?" Harry gave a tiny shrug. Draco almost smiled. "Although it has been my experience that friends generally call each other by their first names…Harry."  
  
Harry smiled. "Whatever you say…Draco."  
  
For the first time since they'd met, Draco Malfoy gave Harry Potter a real smile.  
  
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	21. Chapter 21

****

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 21

Severus had just finished dressing when a searing pain, one he had hoped never to feel again, shot up his left arm. Horrified, he pulled up his sleeve and a wave of nausea hit him hard as he gazed upon the burning Dark Mark.

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So where were you heading anyway, Draco?" Harry asked his new friend.

"Infirmary," Draco replied, not meeting Harry;s eyes. "I really need to talk to Granger."

"About the baby?" Draco nodded. Harry furrowed his brow. "What are you going to say to her, exactly?"

Draco stopped short and swallowed. "I…I have to ask her to keep the father's identity secret," he admitted quietly. "It might seem cruel and cold-hearted, but…"

"But you're a pureblood and that baby isn't," Harry finished for him, frowning. "So, what, are you just going to pretend that it doesn't exist?"

"Of course not!" Draco said. "It's still a Malfoy. It's just that if anyone ever knew that, my family's reputation…our nine-century old pureblood tradition would be destroyed, Harry. I can't let that happen."

Harry sighed. "I can't say that I understand your logic at all, Draco." He shook his head. "but if that's what you want to do, I have no way of stopping you. I'm sure Ron'll be more than happy to deny any relation that baby has to your family, anyway."

"…You're mad at me for this," Draco stated plainly. Harry shook his head again.

"I'm not mad. I just don't really understand your thinking," he replied. They began walking again in silence. Eventually, Draco spoke up.

"They never did find his body, though," he whispered. Harry's eyebrows shot up.

"Whose?"

"My father's. They found Macnair right where I left him, still unconscious, but they never found him," Draco explained.

"Wait, then what happened to…?" Harry began to ask, perplexed. Draco shrugged.

"No one knows. They say that there is a chance he survived, since that was the first time I ever cast any Unforgivable and so it was probably weak." He looked down at the floor. "But it's more likely that one of the survivors just made off with the body."

Harry didn't really know what to say to that, and so they walked the rest of the way to the hospital wing in silence.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"And it just started burning without warning?" the serious head of Albus Dumbledore asked from Severus's fireplace.

"Yes, sir," Severus replied, gripping his left forearm tightly with his right hand. "And it is still burning even now."

"This is most troubling," Albus muttered. "Come to my office immediately, Severus. It seems we are not out of the woods yet." With that, his face disappeared from the flames. Severus staggered back to his bed and sat down, trying to compose himself before making the trip up to the headmaster's office. Merlin's tackle, but it felt as though he was being branded all over again!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco and Harry reached the Infirmary just as Madam Pomfrey was dashing out, and they only just barely avoided a head-on collision. 

"Is there something I can do for you, boys?" she asked sharply. Draco and Harry glanced at each other.

"No, ma'am. We just wanted to see how Hermione was doing," Harry explained. 

"Miss Granger already left earlier this morning. Now, if there is nothing else…?" she asked, then hurried off after seeing both boys shake their heads.

"What was that about?" Draco asked, his eyes following the medi-witch's retreating form.

"Haven't the slightest," Harry replied. "Why don't we…"

"Gentlemen!" the voice of Minerva McGonagall interrupted them. Spinning around, they were treated to the sight of one very flustered Transfigurations professor. "What are you two doing standing around out here?"

Draco was about to make a smart remark when Harry's hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Nothing, ma'am," Harry replied.

"Good. Then the both of you can come with me," McGonagall said, and started leading them in the direction of the headmaster's office.

"What do you suppose is going on?" Draco whispered. Harry shrugged.

"I don't know. But whatever it is, I don't think it's good."

It didn't take long for them to reach the statue of the stone gargoyle, which jumped aside after McGonagall muttered the password. Upon entering the office itself, they discovered where it was that Madam Pomfrey had rushed off to. She was looking over Snape's left arm, who was sitting in the same seat that Harry had occupied on his last visit. Harry blushed, remembering the events of that morning. Draco noticed this but said nothing, instead filing it away for later analyzing. 

"Ah, Minerva, you found them," Dumbledore said, emerging from a door in the wall behind his desk. "Good, good. Boys, why don't you take a seat over there by Professor Snape, hmm? We have much to discuss."


	22. Chapter 22

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 22

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Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat beside Snape, refusing to meet the older man's eyes. On the other side of the professor sat Draco who kept glancing at the two, his face betraying only a mild interest. On the other side of Harry, McGonagall sat stiffly, her expression one of deep concern and apprehension.

"Well now, I believe that it is time for us to get down to business, wouldn't you agree?" Dumbledore began, claiming the last remaining seat in the circle between Draco and McGonagall. He settled himself in, then peered down his nose at the other occupants of the room. There was a brief moment of silence as Dumbledore seemed to contemplate his next words. Finally, he spoke. "It would seem Lucius Malfoy is very much alive."

"What?" Draco whispered, then a look of outrage crossed his face. "WHAT?" he bellowed, leaping to his feet. "Are you out of your MIND?"

"Draco, sit down," Severus commanded quietly. Draco ignored him.

"How dare you try to tell me that my father…that he isn't…what proof do you have?" he demanded, his voice dropping dangerously.

"Mr. Malfoy, take a seat and control yourself," Professor McGonagall ordered sharply. Malfoy just glared at her.

"You're all out of your minds," he declared, then stormed to the door.

"Draco Malfoy, get back here!" McGonagall shouted, but it was too late. Draco had already left. She stood to follow, but Snape stopped her.

"Don't bother. He won't listen to you. Once he calms down, I'll speak with him." Minerva glared at him but sat back down.

Harry, meanwhile, had been struck dumb by the latest turn of events, and had remained completely silent throughout Draco's outburst. How could Lucius Malfoy still be alive? What did that mean? Did that mean that he was going to have to fight all over again? And…oh, God, how was this going to affect Hermione? If Ron ever found out, he'd go after Lucius himself and probably wind up getting himself killed. And what would Lucius do if he found out that Hermione, a muggle-born witch, was carrying his child? He'd probably kill her on the spot. Oh, God…

"…Harry? Harry, are you alright?" he heard Dumbledore asking him. Harry looked up at the headmaster blankly before registering that the remaining occupants of the room were all looking at him oddly.

"I…don't know," he confessed, dropping his gaze to his lap. "This…this is…" He swallowed thickly. "How do you know that he's alive?" he asked suddenly, looking up at the headmaster.

"The Dark Mark," Snape replied from his right. Harry turned to look at him, but found that it was much easier to stare at the man's arm than to try to look him in the eye. Snape rolled up his sleeve, exposing the Dark Mark, which no longer was a skull with a snake slithering out of it. In its place was the image of a serpent forming the letter 'M' with two wands crossed behind it. In fact, it looked like… "The Malfoy family crest," Snape spoke up, confirming Harry's suspicions. "Lucius always did like to let everyone know what was his," he added bitterly. Harry swallowed hard.

"But how did he change the Dark Mark without…well, without Professor Snape being there?" he asked, turning back to face Dumbledore.

The headmaster frowned slightly. "I'm not entirely sure, but I have my theories…"

"Please tell me that none of them have anything to do with Voldemort," Harry said immediately. Dumbledore closed his eyes and a pained expression crossed his face, but he didn't say anything. Harry turned to look at McGonagall, then Snape. Neither would look him in the eye. Harry slumped bonelessly in his chair, defeated. "But I killed him. I did. It's supposed to be over now," he mumbled in a small voice.

"Harry, it's just a theory. No one is saying that he definitely has anything to do with it," Dumbledore tried to reassure him.

"But it's very likely, isn't it?" Harry muttered. "I mean, isn't that the way my luck usually runs?"

A long, tense silence followed before Snape stood. "I have obligations to attend to. Excuse me," he said quietly and left, not meeting Harry's gaze as it followed him to the door. Another long silence followed.

"Excuse me, but I'd like some time to think about this," Harry quietly said, turning back to the headmaster. "Is that okay?"

"Of course, of course. Only natural. You're excused, Harry," Dumbledore replied. Harry stood and left the office, heading directly for the dungeons.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stomped his way through the corridors without any set destination in mind. How DARE they? Who did they think they were dealing with? How could they possibly know something like that before he did? It was absurd! Lucius would have contacted him immediately if he'd survived the curse! And of course he could have survived the curse - Draco had already realized that. The Unforgivables were all about intent, and since Draco didn't really want to kill his father it was only natural that his Avada Kedavra could have failed.

Of course, if Lucius really was still alive but not contacting Draco, it probably meant that he was in quite a bit of trouble with his father. It more than likely would be because his killing curse failed, not because he'd actually tried to kill the man in the first place. Lucius was a bit strange like that - he probably would have been excessively proud if Draco's curse had succeeded. Either way, if what that fool Dumbledore said was true, then Draco needed to try to get into contact with his father immediately and get back on his good side. His short-lived freedom would have to take a backseat to his loyalty to his father, because if there was one thing that Draco regretted more than anything else, it was betraying Lucius. It was unfortunate, but his new friendship with Potter would have to come to an end as well. He felt a twinge of sadness at the thought. It hadn't even lasted a day and already it was over, and just when he'd realized that he rather liked Potter quite a bit.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus stalked through the halls in search of his most favored student. He desperately needed to talk to Draco before the boy made any rash decisions. He knew he didn't have much time, because once a Malfoy set his mind on something he became almost as impossibly stubborn as a Gryffindor, and Severus was damned if he was going to fail Draco now. All he could do was hope that he'd be able to talk some sense into his pupil before it was too late.

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A/N: Well, Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil is (finally) almost done, and its sequel, Transcending Death, is already in the works. There will probably be a third story following that as well, although I haven't quite decided on a title for it yet. And yes, Tom will be making an appearance in TD, as will Harry's new and improved powers. (I wonder if anyone can guess what one of his new skills will be based on the title? Of course, I won't be able to actually confirm anything until TD is up, but it would be nice to see some of your guesses and theories.) 

Anyway, to those of you looking for more HP/SS action, don't worry, it's coming. Just remember, patience is a virtue, annoying little thing though it may be. And all you Sirius/Remus lovers might like the sequel a bit better than you did HPMC. I'm not going to say anything more than that, however. Gotta leave you guessing and all that.

I think this goes without saying, but mostly due to the events of OotP, HPMC is essentially AU. I'm not changing any of it - the vast majority of it was written well before OotP even came out, and I'll be damned if I'm going to go back through 21 chapters and correct every last detail (although I really should, considering some of the personal mistakes and typos I made - I'm so lazy).

I'll try to get the next chapter out ASAP, but since I still don't have my own computer, I can't make any promises. Please don't beat me with plastic spoons if the next update doesn't happen for a bit! I swear, I'm trying my best!

Thanks,

~Els-chan


	23. Chapter 23

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Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 23

A/N: I know it's been a ridiculous amount of time since my last update, and I'm sorry for that. Hopefully the period between updates will be shorter once I'm back in school and have regular access to a computer, na no da.

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"Now what will you do, Mr. Malfoy?" Severus's voice said from behind Draco. The blonde whirled around to see his mentor, slightly pink from his trek across the castle and up to the Astronomy Tower, standing behind him with his arms crossed. Draco narrowed his eyes and turned away, not replying. There was a soft rustle of clothing and Draco felt Snape's hand on his shoulder. He quickly jerked away.

"Don't touch me," he snapped, whirling around to glare at the Potions master. "You don't have that right." Watching Severus flinch away was rather satisfying and brought a tiny, cold smile to Draco's face.

"Draco, listen to me," Severus began, but Draco quickly cut him off.

"I don't have to listen to a single word you say, so you can just go and fuck Potter for all I care." He hadn't meant anything by that statement, it being his former best insult, but when he saw the taller man's face flush all of the pieces suddenly came together. Snape's absence while Potter was in the hospital wing, the strange way Potter was behaving when he ran into him that morning, the way neither of them could so much as look at each other in the headmaster's office without Potter blushing...why hadn't he noticed it before? "Or have you already taken care of that?" Draco added sharply.

Severus paled. "Don't be absurd, Mr. Malf..." 

"Don't give me that bullshit," Draco interrupted bitterly before pushing past him and hurrying away. Severus sighed deeply, then turned to follow his student.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry's trip down to the dungeons took a slight detour, and soon he found himself in the kitchens surrounded by overly-helpful house elves and enough food to feed four Dudleys for a week. He sighed in his seat at the small table near the door, staring into the murky depths of a glass of milk as if they somehow held the secrets of the universe but were just too stubborn to clear up so that he could see them. Was this never going to end? Just how much fighting would be enough to satisfy everyone? Damn it, Voldemort was barely dead and already someone else felt the need to take his place? _How much more would he have to put up with?_

And why now, of all times? School would be ending in just under a month. Harry had _plans_, damn it! Granted, they mostly revolved around doing nothing for at least six months and living off of his inheritance, but no one could argue that he deserved a break! He'd already taken care of one dark lord, and now they expected him to fight off another one? It just wasn't fair! Hell, he had NEWTs coming up! How was he supposed to focus on those if he had to keep beating off dark wizards with a stick?

"Damn it!" he growled, shoving the glass of milk away. "Why can't someone _else_ do this? Why does it always have to fall to _me_?" He stood and began pacing angrily. "Don't I ever get a chance to just relax and be normal? What the fuck did I do to deserve this aside from being _born_?" The house elves had all stopped what they were doing and were instead providing an audience for Harry. Harry sighed and slid back into his seat. "And why Malfoy, of all people?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Why now, just when we were starting to get along?" Harry, of course, knew perfectly well that Draco would return to his father's side. Why would he betray his father a second time just to remain friends with Harry Potter? Why would he risk Lucius's wrath? He wouldn't, and Harry knew that. He knew Draco would go crawling back to Lucius, and he would probably be forgiven in a heartbeat - after all, everyone knew how Lucius doted on his son. And then one day he would meet Draco on opposite sides of the battlefield. And Draco would die, because Harry also knew perfectly well that Draco Malfoy was no match for him - not anymore. Not after his "training" with Tom. Harry shook his head. He was sure that the idea that he would have to kill Draco Malfoy should bother him more than it did. With another sigh, Harry stood, thanked the house elves, and left. He suddenly felt utterly exhausted and needed to lie down.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Draco, I need you to listen to me," Severus was saying after once again managing to corner Malfoy, this time in the library. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it right now. Returning to your father's side now would prove disastrous for you; surely you must realize that?"

"Shut up, Snape! You don't know anything about my father or about me!" Draco shot back angrily. Severus gritted his teeth.

"Actually, Mr. Malfoy, I'm rather certain that I know a great deal more about your father than you do, and I can assure you that if you think he'll just welcome you back into the fold with open arms..."

"Of course he won't! I tried to kill him, and I failed! I'm sure I'll be punished! But it won't be nearly as bad as it would be if I abandoned him now!"

"Foolish boy, it will be worse!" Snape's frustration with the situation was growing exponentially. "Don't you see? If you go back to him, he'll kill you, or at the very least put you into a situation that not even you could escape from. _Think_, Draco! Do you truly believe that Lucius could be that forgiving?"

"I am his son," Draco replied coldly. "My loyalty lies with him, and him alone. It may have wavered once, but never again. If you want someone to protect, then go protect your little whore, Potter." Severus winced. "But leave me alone." That said, Draco pushed past Snape and stalked out of the library. Severus's shoulders slumped in defeat. He'd well and truly failed Draco this time, and there was nothing more that he could do about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry was laying on his bed, lost in thought when Severus returned to the dungeons, an air of sorrow surrounding him. He said nothing as he disappeared into his private workroom without closing the door behind him. Curious, Harry sat up and listened carefully for any clues as to what Snape might be up to, but he couldn't hear anything at all, not even the soft scuffling of shoes moving across the floor. He frowned. He wanted to go and see what Snape was doing, but at the same time he also was certain that the man really didn't want to see him right then, especially after what had happened earlier that morning. His curiosity won out in the end, though, and he quietly shuffled over to the open door to peer in. The sight that greeted him shocked him to the core.

Severus Snape sat on a stool behind his lab table, his elbows resting on its surface, his forehead resting in his hands, and a very troubled look on face. Harry swallowed hard before approaching him, unsure of what to do.

"Harry," Snape said suddenly, stopping Harry in his tracks. "What is it that you want from me?"

Harry looked at his professor in confusion. "I...nothing, sir. I just wanted to see if you were all right..."

"That's not what I meant," Severus stood, facing away from Harry. "You kissed me earlier. Why?"

Harry flushed deeply. "Oh, that was...um, I just..."

"I have no desire to turn you into a catamite, Mr. Potter. I will not make you into my...'whore'," Snape cut him off, his fists clenched at his sides. "And so what happened earlier must never happen again, do you understand?"

Harry frowned. "No, I _don't_ understand, sir. I don't see how my kissing you would somehow make me into a whore," he replied, a hint of anger in his voice. Severus spun around and pinned him with an intense look.

"Don't you see? Don't you understand how it would look to the rest of the world if I were to allow...this?" He gestured between the two of them. "You would be seen as nothing more than a convenient boytoy, a plaything for a much older man. In other words, a whore."

"I don't care," Harry replied defiantly. "Let them think whatever they want, they'll do it anyway. I stopped caring ages ago."

Severus snorted. "Well, perhaps you don't care, Mr. Potter, but I will not allow you to become my whore."

"Good," Harry replied. "I don't want to be your whore, either."

"Well, then I guess that's settled..."

"I want to be so much more than that."

Severus looked at Harry incredulously. "You don't know what you're saying. You're just feeling...gratitude, or..."

"No," Harry objected forcefully. "I know exactly what I'm saying. I know exactly what I'm feeling, and I know exactly what I want, and that is to be with you." He crossed his arms and stared across the small room at Severus, as if daring him to argue. "I don't know where you got this whole 'whore' thing from, but wanting you doesn't make me a whore. Neither does being with you." His expression softened. "It makes me happy."

Severus swallowed hard. "Don't make me start something if you have no intentions of following through..." He took a deep breath. "You say you want to be with me, but for how long? How long until the novelty wears off and you get bored? How long before you toss me aside for someone much younger and more attractive? How long..."

"I don't get 'bored' with people, and I don't just toss them aside like rubbish. I'm in this for the long haul," Harry replied. "I have every intention of following through with this, Profe...Severus. I want to be with you."

A long silence passed between the two of them before Severus sighed. "Very well," he said, and the smile on Harry's face could have lit up a room. "However," Severus continued, and Harry's smile faltered ever-so-slightly, "no one can know about this, do you understand? You're still my student, and there are rules against this sort of thing." He looked at Harry warily. "You're sure about this?"

Harry crossed the room in four strides and threw his arms around Severus's neck. "Positive," he whispered before softly pressing his lips to his professor's.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	24. Chapter 24

Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil

Chapter 24

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The next day, Harry resumed classes – he had to.  The NEWTs were the next week, and he'd already missed a week and a half of lessons.  Thanks to what Tom had taught him, he wasn't falling too far behind; his only problem would be in Potions, which he had that morning.

He shuffled into the classroom along with the rest of the students, earning him a few wary looks that were quickly stifled by Hermione, who glared at anyone that looked like they wanted to say something to him.  She needn't have worried, since Snape was already in the classroom for a change.  Harry desperately resisted the urge to grin stupidly at him before realizing the professor wasn't even looking at him.  His heart sank slightly as he took his seat beside Hermione and began setting up for the day's lesson.

Across the room, Draco Malfoy gave Harry a long, hard look.  He was just about to say something scathing and highly suggestive when Snape began speaking.

"Today we will be reviewing the Draught of Peace," he began, "something which none of you have any excuse for getting wrong.  I'm going to write the ingredients and instructions on the board, but you should have them memorized by now.  If you don't, then you'd best learn them soon, or you'll fail your NEWTs, and I won't tolerate that.  We will be testing these at the end of class, and anyone who does not have it absolutely perfect shall receive zero marks for today.  Now get to work!"

The class worked in silence as usual.  Harry still found himself distracted, constantly looking up from what he was doing to see if he could meet Snape's eyes, but to no avail.  The man seemed determined to avoid looking at him.  Harry sighed in frustration, earning him an odd look from Hermione, before turning his attention back to the potion to add the final ingredient.

Which had somehow turned purple and threatened to bubble over.

"Shit," Harry hissed, quickly putting out the flame under his cauldron.  This only seemed to make things worse, because the potion then turned a mustard color and started burping at him.  This, of course, finally drew Snape's attention, but hardly in the way that Harry wanted it.

"Potter!" Snape barked, and Harry visibly winced.  The professor stalked over to him, clearly displeased.  He looked down at Harry's potion, his brow furrowing.  "What on earth did you do to manage this?" he demanded, fixing Harry with a glare.  "Nothing in that recipe should have produced this mess."

Harry found himself unable to look at Severus.  "I...I don't know, sir," he replied quietly, which only incensed Snape further.

"You don't know?"  The silky voice became dangerously quiet.  "How could you not know unless you. Weren't. Paying. Attention. To. What. You. Were. Doing!"  He waved his wand over Harry's cauldron and the contents disappeared.  "Zero marks, Potter, and I will see you after class.  Everyone else, bottle your potions, clean up, and clear out!"  He glided back to the front of the room.

Harry silently berated himself as the rest of the class filed out.  Hermione gave him a sympathetic look before leaving him to his fate.  Soon, the only ones left in the room were Harry and Snape.

"You know better," Snape suddenly said.  Harry averted his eyes.  "You know how dangerous it is to lose focus when brewing.  You. Know. Better."  He moved to stand in front of Harry.  "This is _exactly_ why I knew this would be a bad idea."

"No!" Harry quickly defended, but Snape ignored him.

"Are you aware that had you allowed that potion to boil for only a few seconds more, you would have brought severe harm to yourself?  Not to mention those around you.  Damn it, you could have killed someone!"

"I didn't…"

"Be silent!  That concoction you were brewing was a highly-volatile mixture commonly used as an extremely powerful acid which, when overheated, will explode and shower everything around it, instantly dissolving everything it touches."  Harry paled.  "Now do you see the importance of keeping your focus?  Do you see why I'm so strict about being precise?  Why I want your complete attention?"  Harry mutely nodded, unable to lift his gaze from where it had fallen to the floor.  Severus sighed.  "Harry, look at me."

"No," came the quiet reply.  Snape gritted his teeth.

"Fine.  If you won't grant me the courtesy of looking at me when I'm addressing you, this conversation is over.  You may go."  He turned and stalked to his desk.  When he looked back, Harry hadn't moved.  "Well?  What are you waiting for?  You've been dismissed."  Harry finally looked up and glared at him.  Snape glared right back.

"Why are you acting like this?" Harry finally asked.  "Why are you being so mean to me again?  I thought that we..."

"The fact that we are now involved does not exempt you from being lectured when you make a potentially deadly mistake, Mr. Potter."

"Don't call me that!" Harry yelled, his hands balled into fists at his sides.  

"Then don't act like an immature brat!" Severus shot back, and immediately regretted it when he saw the hurt expression on Harry's face.  "Look, I..."

"Just leave me alone," Harry muttered before Severus could continue.  He turned on his heel and stormed out of the classroom just as the first of Snape's fourth year Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors began arriving.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ron gave Hermione a sidelong glance as Harry took his seat beside his best friend in Charms.  At Hermione's nod, Ron turned to him.

"Hey, are you all right?  I heard Snape gave you a hard time again..."

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry grumbled as he pulled his books out of his bag.  Ron frowned.  He was about to say something when Professor Flitwick called the class to order.

The lesson went by fairly quickly.  When it was over, Harry packed up his books and surprised Ron and Hermione by following them back to Gryffindor Tower.  "I really don't want to face Snape right now," was the only explanation he offered, and they didn't question it.

Both Ron and Harry were free the rest of the day, and since Hermione had classes the entire afternoon the two spent the majority of their time before dinner playing Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess, and talking about Quidditch, Hermione, friends, Ron's family, the baby, and the eventual wedding.  Whenever Ron tried to bring up Snape or Harry's new living conditions, the subject was quickly changed.  Eventually, Ron gave up – for the most part.  Once dinnertime rolled around, however, he tried one last time.

"You know, Harry, if he's being really nasty to you down there..."

"Drop it, Ron."

Ron frowned.  "All right, then.  Just want you to know that your bed is always available back up with us, is all."

Harry gave his friend a sharp look, as if he wanted to snap at him, but at the concerned look on Ron's face it rapidly softened into a small smile.  "Thanks, Ron.  You really are the best mate a guy could have, you know."  Ron grinned.

"I do my best," he replied, clapping Harry on the back and leading the way out of the portrait hole.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Sorry I've been so absent.  This was lying in my notebook, half-finished for almost two months now, and I just never found the time to complete it.  So sorry about that.  I would have had it up sooner, but school and the fests and everything...you get the idea.  Don't quite know when the next chapter will be up, but hopefully my muses will kick into overdrive soon and I'll be able to churn some more stuff out.  Thanks for all of you who have been so patient and supported me.  I think there's only about three or four chapters left for this part (it got longer than I'd originally expected), then I'll move on to Transcending Death.  

Mucho thanks to Wakka, who's been betaing everything for me lately, including this chapter.  Wakka, you are my orange lifesaver.   


	25. Chapter 25

**Harry Potter and the Mortal Coil **

_Chapter 25_

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Author's Note: Well, now that I've started to get death threats for not updating this and It's Gravitation, I figured now would be as good a time as any to start working on them some more. The only problem? I've lost my story chart, so while I know most of what's supposed to happen, I haven't the foggiest how I'm supposed to get there. As a result, I'm going to have to do a bit of groping around in the dark, so to speak, so please bear with me. I've also lost my beta, at least until he returns from Cancun, and so this probably won't win any awards for grammar and variety (not that it ever did). But, nevertheless, here it is: Chapter 25. It's quite a bit shorter than I would've liked, but...well, enough babbling. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

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To say that Harry was under a lot of stress would have been a gross understatement. His first night spent back in Gryffindor Tower since his first botched suicide attempt was a restless one, and as he laid in his old bed staring at the ceiling, worries and terrible thoughts ran through his head, preventing him from getting to sleep. He didn't dare wake Ron - how could he possibly talk to him about any of this? He didn't know about Harry's feelings for Snape (and frankly, Harry was a bit worried how he'd react if he found out), and he certainly didn't know about Lucius Malfoy. He thought about taking Dreamless Sleep, but then remembered that he had none, and getting more would require facing Snape again, and really, he wasn't ready to do that just yet. After all, he thought, he wasn't the one in the wrong anyway. And so, with a frustrated sigh, he got up, deciding that if he wasn't going to sleep anyway, he might as well not sleep in the common room where he wouldn't have to listen to Ron's and Neville's snores. His feet felt around for his shoes, but to no avail. Scowling, he dropped to his knees and rummaged around under the bed, smirking when he felt his hand connect with one of his shoes. He pulled it out, then dove back, sliding his hand further under the bed, searching until his fingers brushed against cool metal. Blinking, he grabbed the object and pulled it out into the moonlight where he could get a better look at it. Sirius's pocket knife. Harry's heart thudded in his cheast - he was shocked the knife was still there. He'd thought one of the professors might have taken it when...he clutched the knife to him. "Sirius..." he whispered to himself, and shuddered. He would not cry. He willed himself not to cry even as he blinked back the tears forming in his eyes. How easy it would be...how simple...and he could be with Sirius and Lupin and his parents again...he'd be free from all these responsibilities he'd never asked for...

Ron grunted and rolled over in his sleep, startling Harry out of his thoughts. Ron, Hermione...he couldn't just leave them to face Malfoy's inevitable wrath alone, though, could he? Even if it meant he could finally rest, finally be free...would it be worth leaving them with his burdens? He looked down at the knife, now lying flat in his open palm. It'd be so simple, but...

"You don't really want to do that, now, do you?" he heard a very familiar man's voice whisper in his ear. He spun around, searching for the speaker, but there was no one in the room other than his sleeping roommates.

"S...Sirius?" he whispered into the darkness. There was no reply, save Ron's snores, and Harry fell back to sit on the floor. Was he going mad? He looked down at the knife again, wondering for a brief moment of insanity if it had talked, then shook his head and quickly pocketed it. He just needed some space, that was all. He'd become unused to being in a dormitory, and it was making him...what? Hear things? His friends' snoring was somehow turning him into a madman?

"This is stupid," Harry muttered to himself, reaching back under the bed to retrieve his other shoe. He pulled both shoes on, stood, and headed down to the common room. He'd barely sat down on the squashy chair by the fire when the portrait hole swung open, admitting a flushed Severus Snape. His eyes landed on Harry, and they just stared at each other in silence.

"You're alive," Snape whispered so quietly that Harry wasn't entirely sure he hadn't imagined it. They stared at each other for a moment longer before Snape cleared his throat and looked away. "You aren't supposed to be spending the night here unsupervised, you realize," he addressed the fireplace.

"I missed Ron," Harry replied simply, though they both knew that wasn't why Harry had elected to stay in Gryffindor Tower that night.

Snape looked uncomfortable. "Even so..." He trailed off and cleared his throat again. "Well, at any rate..."

"I heard Sirius tonight," Harry suddenly blurted out, and Snape's eyes shot back to him. "Sirius. I heard his voice."

Snape gave him an odd look. "Harry, Black..."

"I know he's..." Harry interrupted, then sighed. He fumbled around in his pocket for Sirius's knife, pulled it out, and looked at it, his fingers tracing over its surface. He looked up to see Snape staring at the knife apprehensively. "It happened after I found this...he gave it to me. It was under my bed all this time..." Harry shook his head.

After a prolonged pause, Snape softly asked, "And what, exactly, did Black's voice say?"

Harry tensed up. He didn't particularly want anyone knowing that he'd been thinking about turning the knife on himself again; what if they did take the knife away this time? It was one of the very few things he had left of his godfather, and he didn't want to give it up for anything. "...Nothing important," Harry lied.

Snape obviously wasn't fooled as his gaze turned into a glare, and he stalked forawrd until he was standing right in front of Harry. "I didn't ask whether or not it was important. I asked what he said."

Harry glanced up at Snape, then looked back down at the knife. "If I tell you, do you promise not to take this away?" A brief silence fell over the two of them. "...It's all I have left of him," Harry added quietly.

Snape frowned. "Is that the knife you...?"

"Yes, but I won't be using it like that ever again," Harry said firmly, and Snape found himself believing it. With a sigh and a resigned look, Snape nodded.

"Very well."

Harry held the knife up so that the light from the fireplace glinted off its surface. "I was thinking, earlier, when I found this, how much easier things would be if I didn't have to worry about Mr. Malfoy or Voldemort," he noticed Snape wince, "or any of that. I thought it would be so simple to just..." He sighed. "But then I thought about Ron and Hermione and everyone and how unfair it'd be for me to just leave them with all of that..." Harry swallowed hard. "But I also thought about how I could see Sirius and Professor Lupin...my parents...and I wondered if it'd be worth it, just to be with them again." He dropped his hands and the knife into his lap. "I was really thinking about it, too. But then I heard..." Harry paused.

"Black," Snape murmured, and Harry nodded.

"Yes. And he told me I didn't want to do that. And...Merlin, I thought I'd gone mad. Maybe I have. But for a moment, I was so sure that if I turned around he'd be right there, and..." Harry trailed off and looked up to meet Snape's worried gaze. "Am I? Going mad?"

Snape didn't answer, instead directing his attention to Harry's arms. "You didn't actually cut yourself anywhere, did you?" Harry shook his head, and Snape let out a relieved sigh. He sat on the armrest of Harry's chair and placed a hand on Harry's back. That sat quietly there together for a while, neither of them moving. Finally Snape spoke. "I apologize for earlier. I was, perhaps, a bit harsher than was absolutely necessary."

Harry suddenly felt as though a giant boulder had been lifted off of his shoulders. He leaned closer to Snape, resting his head on the older man's chest, and sighed. "No, you were probably right. I was being immature and irresponsible, and probably a few other things that start with 'i'." Snape snorted softly above him and weaved his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Why don't we go back to our rooms to finish this discussion, hm?" Snape suggested. "After all, anyone can..."

"Walk right in. Yeah, okay," Harry agreed, albeit a bit reluctantly, and pulled himself to his feet. Snape followed suit and together they left Gryffindor Tower.


End file.
